Heartbroken
by jasmineb
Summary: The adventures begin on Raoul's Wedding day, where disaster strikes. With Dom’s wit, and Neal's clumsiness they’re in for one bumpy ride, but can Jonathan dodge the war until they return? Explosions, heartbreak, Gods, idiocy, game shows and total chaos.
1. The Wedding Day

This is my first fanfiction story, so be nice (or give constructive criticism). I've redone this chapter, as when I first posted it there were quite a few mistakes. A short chapter to begin with, to see if I like the flow of the story.

Disclaimer: All characters (so far) belong to the great Tamora Pierce –Lets all bow down to her now.

May add a few of my own later on, but will specify when I do.

**Chapter One: The Wedding Day**

All of the realm was in uproar, celebrating the union of two of Tortall's most established names- Raoul of Goldenlake or 'The Giant Killer', a name his reputation had earned him, to the love of his life, Buri. The wedding was to be held at the Palace; the gardens had been specially re-designed to suit the happy couple's wishes..

The sun began to set, giving the wedding a faint orange aura. Everyone took their seats, in the front was The Baron of Pirate's Swoop and his quick-tempered wife, Alanna of Trebond (better known as George Cooper and the Lioness), and next to them sat Daine with her black robed lover, Numair.

Raoul shifted uneasily on the spot, and gazed up the aisle longingly. Noticing this, his best man Dom tried to calm his rocketing nerves, but even his wit couldn't help soothe his good friend this time.

"What if she's suddenly backed out, or she doesn't love me like I love her? What will I do?" His shifting seemed to appear more and more like frantic pacing as the minutes slowly slipped by.

After a brief awkward moment of silence, Dom blurted out the words that now seemed like a second nature to him -"Don't be such a Meathead, sir." The sir was added as an obvious afterthought, just so he didn't offend _too_ much.

Raoul gave him a puzzling, yet stern look as he went over his best man's last comment to him. "And what sort of meat would that be Dom? Venison or Pork?" He knew it was a pathetic attempt at a joke, but it startled a chuckle out of the guests around him. "If that's the best advice you could have given me to calm my nerves, I think I would have been better off picking Owen to stand up here with me."

Dom's eyes crinkled with delight, "Ah, but if you had chosen him, we wouldn't be having such a _jolly_ time now would we?" Raoul's body relaxed, as did his mind. She wasn't late yet, he was just early. Anyway, if he did try to confront her about it, she would just say she wasn't late, and that she arrived exactly when she meant to.

Buri may have been stubborn at times, but they were perfect for each other, as everyone seemed to think. He may have been a head taller than her, but what she lacked in height she made up for in sheer bossiness. They were a match made in heaven.

The ripple of whispers brought Raoul out of his tranquillity; it was Kel, Buri's chosen Maid of Honour. He was glad she chose Kel, she was was his squire, and to this day remained a loyal friend to him. She used to live in the Yamani Isles, so she was skilfully able to keep from showing her emotions, but even she was unable to stop the distress seeping from her face. Something must have been wrong.


	2. By The Fountains

Hm, the chapter seemed longer when I wrote it out, sorry about that. This one isn't particuly long though, but I may have two medium sized chapters posted by the end of the day, as I'm bursting with ideas. Just to clear things up, Queen Thayet would be the maid of honour…but Kel fits the part better later on, so lets say the King and Queen are in a very important meeting at the moment, and will come to the reception instead. O, and Kel and Dom are acquaintances (nearly friends), and that's ALL, no romance between them…yet.

Disclaimer: All characters (so far) belong to the great Tamora Pierce –Lets all bow down to her now.

May add a few of my own later on, but will specify when I do.

**Chapter Two: By the Fountains**

_Recap: The ripple of whispers brought Raoul out of his tranquillity, it was Kel, Buri's chosen Maid of Honour. Having lived in the Yamani Isles, she was skilfully able to keep from showing her emotions, but even she was unable to stop the distress seeping from her face. Something was wrong._

She strode up the aisle, a look of anguish becoming clearer with every pace. Dom wanted to run to meet her halfway, but decided that if he began to run, it may alert the guests that something wasn't right- so he _attempted_ to do a fast-pasted walk instead.

"Kel, what's wrong?" Dom hated when she was upset, as it made his own heart crumble – he wasn't sure why though…its not like he _loved_ her or anything…

"Its Buri, I can't find her anywhere!" She had searched up and down the Palace grounds when she hadn't come to inspect Kel's clothes, but she wasn't to be found anywhere. "You haven't seen her have you?"

Dom, not wanting to frighten the groom further, decided against telling Raoul about this, "No, but I'll try to help you find her. Have you checked the Palace?"

"Yes of course, that was the first place I searched…"

Dom didn't think she'd have missed any room, but had to ask the question anyway. "Are you completely sure?"

Kel had to restrain herself from wiping that grin off his mischevious face. _Don't let the jerk get to you, that's what he wants. _She pulled him closer and managed to whisper quietly enough so that no one else could hear.

" If I wasn't at a wedding, Buri wasn't missing, and I wasn't wearing a stupid frock that makes me resemble a clown, you would be looking up at me from the flat of your back right now Dom."

The look on Dom's face was priceless, one of concern, anger, sarcasm, contempt and was that _love_? Kel quickly pushed the growing unease to the back of her mind, and ran back down the aisle to find Buri.

"Have you checked the fountains?" Dom's voice was barely audible over the racket that had broken loose after the guests had heard about the missing bride.

Stumbling over twisted vines, muddy ditches and spike-covered bushes, she came into the clearing of The Fountains. Usually the main spot for lovers as it was hidden away from wandering eyes, there were no lovers here, they all seemed to be taking a day off for the wedding. All except for one figure sat by the tumbling waters of the centre fountain- Buri.

Edging closer, Kel was careful not to startle her- she may have been small but she could be deadly. She didn't hear the twig snap beneath her feet before a small blade was held at her throat with unreal precision.


	3. Buri's Fluttering heart

Darn it, I write out chapters that seem long enough, but they come up like, 3 paragraphs long. Ah well. I WAS going to carry that chapter on, as I had good ideas for it, but I thought I'd leave you in suspense (bet you were all on the edge of your seats!) and split it into two chapters. I hope you don't mind the shortness of the chapters, If you do please tell me so I can ignore you completely. (Only joking, I'll try to make them longer in future!) This ones short again aswell, only because I really wanted to stop it here, for that sort of 'Whats going to happen next'ness.

Disclaimer: All characters (so far) belong to the great Tamora Pierce –Lets all bow down to her now, and roll out the red carpet.

May add a few of my own later on, but will specify when I do.(You'll know which ones they'll be- the annoying ones which aren't very good!) Responses to chapter 1 are here, they weren't loaded up on my story when I posted chapter 2, Sorry! (Anyone else who reviews after this chapter is posted, or that isn't on here will be on the next chapter)

**Sorceress Shadow Rain- **I' glad it's interested you! I'm updating as often as I can, I seem to be on a roll at the moment, I suppose it's my first story so I'm bursting with ideas!

**Zerrin of the wind- **Takes cherries I'll take them thank you very much! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and you aren't disappointed by what I've written in this one!

**Queen Tigress- **Well nothing bad has happened…yet. I promise it gets a lot more exciting, with a surprise and a half soon!

**AnimalWriter1- **Thanks for her name! I was going to tryto look it up, but wasn't totally sure which book I'd find it in, andI'm pretty lazy. (Apart form when I'm writing this story though!) You've made my week (Yes, WEEK) By adding to little me to your favourites, and your favourite authors! wipes tear Thank you ever so much!

**Chapter Three: Buri's Fluttering Heart**

_Recap: She didn't hear the twig snap beneath her feet before a small blade was held at her throat with unreal precision._

"Its only me.." She was able to croak out a few startled words, staring into the deep, tear stained eyes of Buri. How did Buri get so damn _fast_? She was the Lady Knight, the one who was meant to be on her guard day and night, she couldn't let this happen again. Her life could depended on it someday.

"What do you want?" Her watery eyes flickered indecisively between anger and sadness.

"I wanted…to…I wanted to…to…I…wanted…to…look, this blade is really unnerving, can you please just put it back into your sheath? For me?" Buri looked from the dagger to her maid of honour, and slowly removed the blade from Kel's sore neck.

"O. Sorry about that."

"I just wanted to know why you're here, and you know, not at your wedding? Everyone's really worried, especially Raoul." Kel lied, no one had dared tell Raoul yet, but she imagined he would be worried- or hoped he would be at the very least.

"He was worried about me?" Buri seemed surprise at that last remark, Kel tried to figure out why.

"Well, not so much worried more…unknowing is probably the word I'd use." Kel's mind searched frantically for reasons why Buri would seemed surprised, they loved each other, and that's what lovers do when they're apart- or so Kel though. "If you don't mind me being blunt about this, but why were you surprised when I told you he was worried? Is something wrong?"

Kel's cheek burned from the searing pain of Buri's hand. Buri had _slapped_ her. Kel held herself back from hitting Buri in return, but instead counted to ten, and as calmly as she could, asked what the hell that was for.

"You of all people should know!" Kel returned Buris look of sheer frustration with her own look of confusion. "I'm not as stupid as everyone seems to think. I saw you two together in his room last night while I was coming back from my dress fitting. Care to explain?"


	4. Tensions are high

To explain: I never said she actually did anything with Raoul…but all will be explained in this chapter! The Kel in my story, is in fact different to the one in Tamora Pierce's books, (Personality wise) she's slightly more…obsessive…and just so you know, Numair is about Raoul's age, Daine is slightly older than Kel but…you know…all will be explained…

Disclaimer: All characters (so far) belong to the great Tamora Pierce –Lets all bow down to her now, and roll out the red carpet.

Ok, I've only just realised how extra short my third chapter was…but it was about 9 o'clock when I was writing it…but this one will have to be really, really long to make up…or just really, really good… I hope you won' feel disappointed by the direction I'm taking this story in (if you really don't like it, carry on reading though, it gets A LOT better)… Ps. I'll be in France over the weekend, so I won't update for a couple of days…Responses to reviews I've seen so far for chapter 3 (Thanks everyone by the way)…

**Piglet12345- **I believe Kel is more psycho than Buri in the upcoming chapters…whoops, I mean you'll just have to sit in suspense while I slowly type here ;) …

**Thingy of um thingyness- **I'm trying as hard as I can, but I feel that I sometimes have to stop in those places you know?(Probably not as I seem to speak jasmine language sometimes…) To create more suspense I suppose. I'll try to make this longer for you. I really will…The next two chapters will be longer, I'm becoming a longer (and better) writer with practice I think…so please stick with me :P

**AnimalWriter1- **Thanks for being one of my best reviewers…I'm so pleased you feel _honoured_ to help me…It's really boosted my confidence! I'll share with you some of my ideas on Monday, and maybe you could help be develop them?

**Knight Queen- **I'm glad you're finding it funny…(At least someone is!)

**Zerrin of the Wind- **As long as they aren't chocolate sprinkles…Yeh, she is kind of violent, but it's the night before her wedding day so she'll be pretty damn edgy.

**Nativewildmage-** I can't let one of my favourite reviewers fall off their chair can i? (Maybe I can…evil grin) So, Of course I'll update.

**Kings Lioness- **I'm very happy that you think its good, I hope it is anyway. Misunderstood…Hmm…You'll just have to see won't you?

**Queen Tigress- **You're about to find out!

**Oreostar90- **Well, I don't know how I came up with the idea, it kind of just developed, but I hope you aren't upset by what happens, if you don't like it, then keep with it for the next 3 chapters (a character or two gets killed off!)

**Sirladyknight- **Weird in a good or bad way?

**Crazy4tamorap- **Commanding work….its a possibility…

**Chapter Four: Tensions are high**

_Recap: "I'm not as stupid as everyone seems to think. I saw you two together in his room last night while I was coming back from my dress fitting. Care to explain?"_

"I don't like what you're implying here…"

"O, really? And what would that be Kel? That you're sleeping with my betrothed? That's certainly the impression I got! You're meant to be one of my dearest friends. How can you do something like this to me?"

"Nothing happened! I swear- _nothing happened._"

She shifted from foot to foot, and just managed to hide the disappointment from her face. Why had Buri thought something had happened? Did she _really_ want something like that to happen? He was _twice_ her age, but she supposed the age difference wasn't her main problem. It was the same for Numair and Daine, and everyone had said they were _perfect_ for each other. Apart from Neal. But Neal is an exception to a lot of things. The biggest obstacle was the woman standing in front of her. The love of his life, but that could change, and it would change.

_Flash back_

_The sun was setting as Kel stood outside Raoul's door. It would have to be now or never, as he was to be wed the very same day. She rubbed her palms together, they glistened with sweat. This was it. She knocked her fist against the grain of his door, and heard distant grumbles and shuffling nearing the other side of the wood. Mumbles of 'Who is it?' and 'I'm coming, hold your horses...' greeted her as she heard the lock open with a soft _click

_She had gone over her speech in front of her mirror hundreds of times, trying to get the tone of her voice exactly right, strong enough so he didn't feel it was a joke, but soft enough for him see how she really felt about him. It had taken her hours, but she might as well have not bothered at all, because as soon as the door swung open and revealed a messy looking Raoul, who had obviously fallen asleep over maps and plans last night, her heart melted, causing her to forget what she had even come here for. Panic rose from the depths of her stomach and began to grow. What _had_ she come here for? Did she really think he'd feel the same way about her? It was a ridiculous idea to even _consider_ coming here and expressing her true feelings. How could she had been so stupid as to think he'd even listen to her? Maybe because he _would_ listen to her. That's why she loved him. He would treat her as an equal, in abilities and mentally, he'd value her opinions, however stupid. That's why she loved him. While many of the boys taunted and teased her, he stood by her from the start, a shoulder to cry on, and a friend when needed._

"_Kel, What are you doing calling on me at this hour?" Kel snapped back out of her daydream, and suddenly remembered where she was – outside a door with a dazed Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak staring back at her. _

"_Sir, its gone 10 bells, it's hardly early." It wasn't the best or nicest thing to say, but it was all she could think of._

"_What? Already? Mithros be, that went by quickly. Is there something you wanted me for?" _Other than to be mine forever…?

"_Erm, Can I come in sir? I need to talk to you about something…its important." Raoul gave a slightly confused nod, but heard the urgency in Kel's voice. This was it._

_She didn't dare sit, not that there was any room. His walls, floor and chairs were coated in books, scrolls and maps of all shapes and sizes. He moved a large detailed map of Tortall and its outer regions, and motioned for her to take the seat. She declined politely._

"_So, what is it you wanted to talk to me about, that couldn't wait for _after_ my wedding?" Raoul raised an inquisitive eyebrow at that last remark._

"_Well…it's just….the fact of the matter is….I….need to know….." Why couldn't she just get this over with now? _Just spit it out Kel._ "Er…well sir…I mean Raoul, we've known each other for…wait…no, that wasn't it…you've been a great friend to me, and well…no, that's not it either…"_

"_Kel, I would like to be finished by Midwinter if possible." Kel could detect a hint of annoyance in his voice- just a hint though._

"_I just needed to know what colour icing you want on the cake sir." What the hell was that? Ok, it wasn't the best lie she had to admit, but it just came out._

"_Cake icing? You woke me up for _Cake icing_?" The hint was definitely more obvious now._

"_Well you know how Buri is about these sorts of things…" Kel continued to lie as best she could, trying to stop herself from laughing at her own stupidity._

"_You're serious. O, white will do." Kel sighed to herself; this was definitely _not_ how it had meant to go._

"_Thanks, sir. Congratulations by the way." Kel turned and headed towards the door, but stopped when she heard her name being called. Raoul placed his arms around her back, and took her into an embrace. "Thanks for being so supportive of this Kel, for being a great student, and an even better friend." She walked out into the hallway, closing the door behind and going through the past few minutes events in her head – it hadn't gone _that_ badly._

_End Flashback_

"You would tell me if something happened between you two, wouldn't you Kel?" Buri needed reassurance, but Kel wasn't a hundred percent certain she wanted to give it to her.

"But nothing did happen Buri. Why are you worrying about this now? You have a wedding to get to… unless of course, you wanted to back out? I mean if you're not sure then…"

"You're right Kel. I love Raoul, and he loves me. I shouldn't be standing here! Thanks for everything Kel." With that, Buri hitched up the hem of her puffy white gown, and ran in the direction of the wedding.

_Why did I open my big mouth? She didn't want to go through with it, but I had to be there to tell her to go for it. O well, I suppose there's more than one way to stop a wedding…_


	5. Crossbows and Gowns

Reviews: I understand why I'm receiving mixed feelings about my story…its very…unusual. I KNOW the Kel in the PotS series doesn't see Raoul in _that _sort of way. But this Kel is different…and….well that covers Kel really. Yes ew, I know, ack…but just….see it from a different point of view- you don't have to like where it goes…just enjoy the actual story (or don't, its up to you).

Disclaimer: All characters (so far) belong to the great Tamora Pierce –Lets all bow down to her now, and roll out the red carpet.

Just in case you were wondering, I wrote this chapter on a ferry to France…so if its bad – blame the boat.

**Annie Of QueensCove- **Ack….I see.

**Sorceress Shadow Rain- **Thank you very much! I won't be updating as quickly as I usually do, my ideas are getting low (but not gone yet) and I'm going to get loots of homework soon…but until then :P

**Zerrin of the Wind- **Hm…cunning isn't the word I'd use…more…evil…treacherous, maybe…

**Nativewildmage-** I can't let one of my favourite reviewers fall off their chair AGAIN can I? (Maybe I can…evil grin) So, Of course I'll update.

**Kings Lioness- **Not a good one for the happy couple…but an interesting story line, no?

**Queen Tigress- **I totally understand where you're coming from, don't worry, she doesn't actually _get_ him…

**Oreostar90- **Now, if I told you I'd have to kill you…

**Sirladyknight- **Well I believe it's about to get even weirder.

**Crazy4tamorap- **Yup, it's not the Kel we know and love- it's a different side of her.

**Chapter Four: Crossbows and Gowns**

_Recap: "O well, I suppose there's more than one way to stop a wedding…"_

The mischievous and treacherous glint in Kel's eyes subsided, as Buri called for her to follow.

"We can't have a wedding without my maid of honour now, can we?"

"Of course, how silly of me…" Kel grabbed the rim of her skirts, and steadily jogged to catch up – she was used to running in full armour, yet a four layered dress was a lot harder. Little did Buri know, she didn't plan to go to her best friends wedding- she had other things on her mind to take care of, everything was beginning to fall into place.

They ran (as best you can in a gown) through the maze that was the fountains, and caught everyone's attention when Buri came scurrying up the aisle.

"Buri, thank the Goddess, I thought something had happened to you, I'd never forgive myself…" Raoul rambles turned inaudible, but Buri just let the tears flow freely down her face, and instantly regretting even _thinking_ of backing out of the wedding.

"I like standing here as much as the next _jolly_ best man, but if we could get started before the _jolly_ Black God claims us all it would be _jolly _nice…" Dom ducked just in time as Raoul swung a playful punch into his general direction. "Hey careful there, another hundred or so punches and you may just land on on me…" He wasn't quick enough that time though.

He wedding began, with Dom still nursing his broken nose. Alanna had offered to heal it for him, but Dom insisted that the ladies loved the 'tough guy' look, he then went to prove his point by attempting to flirt with Lady Kel (ready to receive a black eye) but found she was missing. He slyly walked over to Queen Thayet, who had just arrived with her husband Jonathan, just in time for the ceremony.

"You haven't seen Kel anywhere have you? She _is _the maid of honour, so you would have thought she'd be here for the actual wedding. Thayet thought for a moment, but came up blank.

"I'm sure she'll be around somewhere- she wouldn't miss this for the world."

_Up in the palace, a ray of sunlight glinted off a crossbow, slowly moving into position._

"Ok, well thanks anyway." This was the tenth guest Dom had asked, and the tenth guest who'd said they hadn't seen her. This was getting weird, and it wasn't like the Kel he knew and loved. _And loved? _Where did that come from? He'd have to think about that later; he was on a mission now- to find out where the hell Kel was. She'd have a good explanation, of that he was sure – or she'd tell a decent lie. Either was acceptable.

"Buriram Tourakom, do you vow to stand by Raoul of Goldenlake and Malories Peak, through sickness, health, life and above all death?"

"I do."

She placed the golden ring on his finger. The wedding had nearly finished, "And do you, Raoul of Goldenlake" _The crossbow was in position, aimed, and ready to release an arrow. _"Promise to stand by Buriram through the good times and the bad?" _The crossbow fired._

Upon seeing this, Raoul dived in from of his beloved, but was too late. The arrow hit the unsuspecting Buri squarely in the chest, and she dropped to the ground, cradled in Raoul's tender grip. Her white dress now red with blood, she wasn't long for this world.

" I….love…you…."

"I love you too, with all my heart…" But she didn't hear. Her chest had stopped moving, her body limp and lifeless.

Her once warm, gentle hand was now cold and rigid, but he couldn't let death stop their union- he wouldn't.

Taking her delicate wrist, he placed the gold entwined ring on her finger his heart breaking with every second gone by. A lone tear crept down his cheek, but was quickly wiped away. He wouldn't cry for her, death couldn't stop them being together – nothing could.

His gaze lowered, but stopped abruptly when he caught the glint of his dagger- the one Buri had given him as an early wedding gift. It was ironic. Needing no more than a quick second to put two and two together (he was always quick at maths), he unsheathed the blade, moving it from side to side, weighing up his options- he had only one. He thrust the dagger into his already broken heart. His vision began to fade black, as he tried to block out the screams of protest from Alanna and Dom- the first to realise what he planned to do. But they were too late, there wasn't anything they could do, his mind was made up, his choice made.

Nothing would ever part them again, they were inseparable.


	6. Revealed

Reviews:…So…how did you find the last chapter? Depressing? Sorry if you didn't want them to die…but I did. Anyway, they come back to our beloved (and still living) characters in dream…so they may be gone but not forgotten.

Disclaimer: All characters (so far) belong to the great Tamora Pierce –Lets all bow down to her now, and roll out the red carpet.

Ok, don't shout at me for killing them off!

**Animalwriter1- **Dead but not gone from the story completely…I have a couple ideas for the next chapter…either it was Kel, or Kel being possessed? Which do you prefer? (Or even some mage posing as Kel?)

**Zerrin of the Wind- **Hm…cunning isn't the word I'd use…more…evil…treacherous, maybe…

**Oreostar90- **Kill one of my favourite reviewers? Never! But I'm glad you liked it…very nicely spotted that I never actually said Raoul's plan worked…

**Sirladyknight- **And the weirdness goes on…..Lol! Well, let's say its not the usual Kel.

**Chapter Six: Revealed**

_Recap: "Nothing would ever part them again, they were inseparable."_

Alanna's heart pounded in her chest- she wouldn't let one of closest friend's killer, and the man who had driven Raoul of Goldenlake and Malories Peak to suicide get away.

She ran up the stairs two at a time, the most she could manage in her purple gown. (George had insisted she wore it for the wedding, laughing, he then said it matched her fiery eyes perfectly- she kicked him.)

The arrow had been shot from the third floor of the palace, roughly five windows along. It had only taken her a split second to realise what the sun was reflecting off the moment she saw it, but she was still too slow to warn Buri. She couldn't help but feel somewhat responsible. She _should_ have been able to stop it, to at least try to call out for them to get down, or push the pair out of the way- even if she would have died, it would have been worth it. Who would want Buri dead? She would soon find out.

One…two…three…four…five windows…the killer had gone. Alanna scolded herself- well _duh, _what sort of assassin hangs around afterwards to see if a Lady Knight will come to fight them? Not a bright one, I'd say.

A door slammed shut behind her, no one should be up here yet- only the killer. She clenched her fist around the hilt of the dagger that she kept on her waist, for occasions like these. She wouldn't be caught off guard, not The Lioness. She span around, and brought the dagger up to chest level ready to attack if she should have to.

Alanna came face to face with the Assassin and a crossbow loaded at her chest; she grabbed the nearby wall for support- her knees had buckled beneath her.

"Kel?...Please tell me you caught the killer, or you're just holding that crossbow for him…or her…." She hoped against hope that she wouldn't have to kill Kel, or Kel wouldn't have to kill _her_. Firstly, she had been there secretly through all the years Kel had to go through to finally become the 2nd lady knight in over a century, sending her gifts every midwinter to help her succeed. She didn't want to throw all their hard work away now if it was a misunderstanding on her part. Her hard-earned reputation would have been permanently tarnished- it wasn't worth it. Secondly, Kel has nearly as many friends in high places (or _had _as two of them were lying on the courtyard outside) nearly as many as Alanna did- not all of them would have been happy to hear that Alanna had killed Kel without giving her a fair trial. She had too many enemies waiting for her already in the Black God's Realm, she didn't need any more due to Kel.

Kel stared back at her, a blank look washed over her face. This wasn't the real Kel, it _couldn't_ be. The old Kel was kind, caring and always insisted that you'd eat you vegetables, this Kel looked as if she'd sooner throw them at you and laugh manically. This _couldn't _be Kel, _our _Kel.

"Why, what ever do you mean my dear Alanna? All those fights and healings must have finally gone to your head my friend, if you can't put the simple pieces of the puzzle together." Kel sighed. "I'll have to do it for you- o, but I _will _be the last person you'll see before you drop to the floor, my sword piercing your heart. Is there anything you'd like me to pass onto your loved ones?"

"I don't doubt the fact-" Alanna's retort was cut short by the interrupting 'tuts' of Kel.

"My dearest Alanna, how many people did you tell where you were running off too? Or did you just act before you think, a very knightly thing to do? Hmm." Alanna was lost for words- this wasn't Kel, Alanna used her gift, and scanned for use of magic. "I thought as much. As soon as they find your barely recognisable corpse, I'd be long gone. And there's nothing you or your friends can do about it."

Alanna could sense strong magic, but not the normal gift, sight or even mage powers- these felt _god-like_.

The battle of the century was about to start, as Alanna unsheathed her sword. The lioness, the strongest female knight in the realm was about to face Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan- an up and coming youngster, but as they locked swords, Dom's voice called out into the dimly lit corridor.

"Kel? Alanna? What are you doing?"


	7. Explosions and Twitches

I'm glad you liked the twist in the story…..more to come I believe. (Haven't decided on ideas at the moment) I'm thinking about killing off another character…maybe…But you guys wouldn't like it at ALL….so I probably will. I've done some maths work, (Geek, I know) and only 15 of the people who actually look at my story review…how depressing is that? Ah well…keep up the R&R my loyal 15 reviewers! I'm trying my best to update as often as I can, but I have an essay due, and I'm having trouble writing it (In between fanfiction ideas…)

Disclaimer: All characters (so far) belong to the great Tamora Pierce –Lets all bow down to her now, and roll out the red carpet.

Don't shout at me for killing more characters off if I do. But, who do you think should die? I have an idea for one already (not set in stone yet mind you, but pretty sure)- and you're not going to like it! I also thought there's a lack of characters…so I'll bring in some familiar faces :P

**Nativewildmage- **I'm glad you like the twist…or one of them.

**On top of cloud 9- **Ok, well Alanna has suspicions that it's not Kel, as she doesn't have a gift- she thinks it's a God. Dom just walks in, so doesn't realise it was 'Kel' yet, and the others are oblivious to the situation completely. Hope that cleared it up for you…It didn't for me.

**Queen Tigress- **Well, as soon as I decide, I'll let you know! ;)

**Kings Lioness- **I'm glad you're finding it full of suspense, just what I'm aiming for!

**Zerrin of the wind- **Hehe! I love keeping people in suspense, its so much fun!

**AnimalWriter1- **Thanks for the ideas…I'm going to go with.. o0o0 just had a brilliant brainstorm! I've emailed you the ideas though…Well I have a couple of ideas for this chapter…but I'm just improvising really. It'll go where it wants to go really. Maybe KD eventually….if no one else dies…

**Chapter Seven: Proclamations and Dreams **

_Recap: "Dom's voice called out into the dimly lit corridor._

"_Kel? Alanna? What are you doing?"_

Alanna clenched her fists around her sword tighter, Dom shouldn't have been here. She didn't want him to be hurt- this was between her and Kel.

"Just go Dom." Dom stood on the spot, trying to work out if they were seriously going to fight each other or not. That'd be stupid, obviously Alanna would win…or would she? She did have more experience, but wasn't as agile as she once was.

"Now Dom. I'm not kidding around here." Did Alanna have a twitch before? She certainly did now. Wait, maybe she was trying to tell me something…

"You never kid around Alanna. I'll go….but you're meant to be catching the killer…you can settle your ego battle after…"

He walked down the corridor, and suddenly everything clicked into place. He ran back towards them. "It was you wasn't it Kel?" Dom tried to catch his breath, his heart grew tight- he shouldn't have accused her of something as treacherous as that. It was Kel,_ his_ Kel.

"Bravo Dom. That took you, what? Four times longer than you should? _But_ you got there in the end didn't you?" He could detect slight hints of sarcasm; it really wasn't like Kel, (Unless she was talking about vegetables of course. Or Neal) "Who are you?"

"Dom, go _now. _I don't want the blame for your death as well." Alanna's famous temper had begun to show. "Go back down that stairwell Dom. This isn't a joke. If you don't leave…I'll…well…I'll…"

"Lost for words dear Lioness? Well that's a first." A smug grin menacingly crawled across Kel's lips.

Did Kel's face just _flicker_? Not between emotions…but flicker _on and off_? That seemed weird- and this was _Dom_- he's seen a lot of unusual things being a knight, but this had to take the cake.

"Dom. You're not moving. Shift that stubborn body of yours down those damned stairs this instant!" Alanna's ferocious temper was not one to cross.

"We don't need any spectators here, and you're taking to long to move- so I guess I'll have to move you." Kel's hand glowed black with magic as she threw a bolt towards Dom.

"Get out the way Dom!" But Alanna could see she wasn't going to be quick enough- she wasn't going to just stand here and watch as another one of her friends was killed by the merciless Kel- or whatever she had become. She dived in front Dom, taking the hit. The intensity was immense, and she could feel the power burning her chest.

(Georges POV)

Where had Alanna gone? She was here just a minute ago, talking with Dom, then she just hurried off. Just like her to run off and try to catch the killer before anyone else. Always wanted to be everyone's heroine, that's why he loved her so dearly.

He looked around, scanning every window for a glimpse of information, then there at the sixth window along…

"Everybody get down on the floor NOW!" George bellowed at the top of his lungs, as the corridor exploded with energy- and Alanna blown out with it.


	8. Unconscious and Splintered

Ok well, I'm sorry its taken a while to update, but I did finally get that essay done, I wasn't happy with the result, but it was better than nothing I suppose. Disclaimer is as usual, I don't own anything except a brilliant wit and fabulous imagination, not to mention my stunning looks. Everything else belongs to the fantastic Tamora Pierce….Green with envy? Nah, Orange is in this season…

Dedicated To my Loyal Reviewers, I hope I don't Disappoint you.

**Piglet12345- **That's probably what she should have done, but what sort of author would I be if a character hadn't been blown out a window? Not an imaginative one. ;)

**Oreostar90- **It's a bit more than ouch, more along the lines of 'Dam that's painful' I believe… Updating now.

**Queen Tigress- **Kill Neal? But he's so witty! I'll bare it in mind though for upcoming chapters…Do you really think being blown out a window in a fiery blaze could kill the Lioness? Maybe.

**Sirladyknight- **And why do you think she's dead…yet? And well, I'm working down a list at the moment, titled 'The characters I'll Kill off that will create havoc in the world of Tortall and make me laugh manically'….

**Zerrin of the wind- **We all love George- he's THE lovable rogueDramatic? Never crossed my mind- _insane_ did though, more than once. :P

**Ontopofcloud9- **You'll just have to read this chapter won' t you? I need to decide first though I suppose…

**Chapter Eight: Unconscious and Splintered **

_Recap: "Everybody get down on the floor NOW!" George bellowed at the top of his lungs, as the corridor exploded with energy- and Alanna blown out with it._

(George POV)

He climbed over the rumble that once made up the third floor corridor, searching for his lost love.

"Alanna? Where are you?" He heard a distant grumble, that sounded like Alanna saying 'I'll not try and save his life again anytime soon…not even a thanks…' But it oculd have just been his imagination.

"Don't die, please don't…I don't know what I'll do without you…I won't be able to live without you…stay strong…help is coming…I swear…"

"I'm ok, really…I don't know why you're getting so worked up…' She hadn't noticed the piece of wood piercing her stomach until the burning pain set in.

(Dom POV)

"Alanna..." His attention quickly returned to the _thing_ before him. "What the hell are you?" Dom looked the smug Kel up and down. She wasn't the same, he could feel a buzz in the air, and it sent a chill down his spine. It didn't feel natural. He didn't wait for a reply- not that he'd expected one anyway. "Killing off my closest friends for the sake of it? First Buri, Raoul and now Alanna. What the hell do you think you're playing at? Whatever it is, it stops here. With me."

Her smirk quickly vanished, and was replaced with a threatening snarl. Her face had twisted with hate, so much that he didn't even recognised the one he loved, Kel's. The edges of her body where becoming blurry, from the tears that flowed freely down his face for his friends? No, this was different…

"Please. I'm not bothering with the likes of you. Anyway, you're too cute to kill…yet. If you want a fight, you're picking one you have no chance of winning. Think about it, you're unarmed." He checked his sheath, she was right. _Stupid_, I didn't even wear a dagger belt today- so much for thinking it would be uneventful… "And you're angry- and angry fighters make grave mistakes."

"Why are you telling me this, but avoiding my questions?" He needed to buy time to think this through. He touched the reassuring blade he kept up his sleeve- he was never caught off guard, he only let them think so. He wanted to get as much information out of this impostor as he could, before he threw her out of that dam window like she'd done to Alanna. "Fine, you don't need to answer them. Just tell me what you've done with the real Kel."

She thought about this for a minute, "What makes you think I'm not the real Kel, and the one you thought you knew- _and loved_- was just an act?"

"Because I love Kel, and I don't love you." He flicked the knife down into his palms, cutting into his callused skin. He hid the cutting pain, and didn't even flinch- he kept his eyes on _it_. He gripped the handle, with his sweaty palms.

"Well that's truly hurtful, but to be honest, I didn't think it would work between us either." Her eyes flickered between Dom, his blade and the noises coming from the stairs case behind her. Dom took advantage of her distraction, and flung the dagger towards her, lodging itself into her right thigh. She fell to the ground. The Third Company ran towards them, swords unsheathed. _Its about time,they always seem to miss the excitement. Typical._

They surrounded the now unconscious Kel, thanks to one swift blow from one of the knight's sword. Knocked out she looked like the same caring Kel, unchanged from who she once was, but he wouldn't be fooled again.

_A/N_

_Just so you know, there will be more Alanna George scenes in the next chapter, to explain what will happen, as I focused mainly on Dom here. Sorry it was so short, but I thought it's probably better to update a short chapter than not to update at all._


	9. Heartbroken

Guess what I got yesterday? The new HP book! I've only had it for a day and I'm ¾ of the way through- its surprisingly good! That's why I havn't really updated much, other than a quick chapter eight. HP is getting really absorbing….but Tamora still rules the roost. Whatever that means.

If you think I'm heading down the wrong route with this story, tell me, give me your views and ideas, contrary to what I may have wittily said before, I will listen (or read in my case) to them, and may use them. With credit given of course. I don't really know where this is at the moment, I know kind of where its going though. I hope.

This chapter Dedicated To my Fabulously Loyal Reviewers (as always)- And my Twin, Tahnee. May this story rock little pink cotton socks forever.

**VinnyRoxyFrankie- **I'm glad you liked my review, it opened my eyes as well- and I'm really happy with the reviewers I have- they make my day, they truly do. I'm a Kel fan, but I understand that your story is better off more along the lines of Daine, its just fate…

**Oreostar90- **This chapter is probably going to be mostly GA maybe with a bit of Neal thrown in. And Owen. Maybe. We'll see where it goes.

**Queen Tigress- **Well, Kel/Dom is progressing, steadily, but it is there ready to bloom. Once he finds the real Kel of course. If he's not too late.

**DOMLUVR4EVER- **Lots of things…madness being one of them of course…

**Piglet12345- **Wow, prove that someone did actually read the chappie…I'm impressed! I'm glad that bit went down ok, It seemed like a very Dom line. I can see the movie now- 'Heartbroken- The movie where nearly everyone dies a horrific death' Such a catchy title…

**sirladyknight- **Never thought you were! The King…hmm…but who would rule Tortall then, Thayet? Maybe he should die trying to save Thayet, that'd be sad…and make chaos…brilliant…

**Chapter Nine: Heartbroken**

_Recap: Knocked out she looked like the same caring Kel, unchanged from who she once was, but he wouldn't be fooled again._

(George's POV)

"You're right it's nothing sweetheart…just a little scrape…"He was good at lying, he had to be- he was once King of the Rogues- but even he couldn't pull off this one.

"George don't humour me, I'm not bloody blind- there's a piece of wood sticking through me!" Maybe if he could keep her talking, or shouting in her temper's case, it might take her mind of the problem at hand- namely the one piercing her stomach.

"I'd never humour you darling," He gave her one of his most lovable and innocent smiles. "I'm too damn good looking to have wit _as well_." She laughed at this, or tried too. All he could here was the splutter of blood- the blood of his dying love, his one and only. "Lass, keep your eyes on me ok? I'm not letting you go, not now, not ever." Her eyes began to close. "Look at me love…don't let go, you're stronger than this. You can't let this beat you, not the infamous Lioness…" _(A/N I was going to finish the George bit here, but thought you might be unhappy with the little time I spend on them, so here goes, a full on short chapter all about George and his bonny lass, Alanna.)_

Tears crept down his dusty cheeks, making damp tracks shine when the reddening rays of the sun hit them; he tried to hide his face away as he couldn't let Alanna see him like this.

"Don't cry George, it'll turn out fine in the end, it always does- you know that. Even if something-"

"-but nothing can separate us, I know. This time though darling, you're not fighting a war while I sit at home wondering whether you'll come back into my darkened life or not, you're here with me…and it's…well it's just different…"

"George, don't make out like I'm already a goner. It's really not helping anybody. I'm not dead yet and don't intend to be anytime before my 90th birthday thank you very much."

"Sorr-" Alanna interrupted before he was able to finish apologising.

"I've been closer to death before and still won. This time won't be any different. I promise."

"What if something did happen though? Not that I'm being pessimistic or anything, you know me I'm very optimistic, sometimes annoyingly so-"

"George honey, you're rambling."

"What? Oh…Sorry lass, you know, sometimes I just get carried away and well…"

"No need to explain, I have known you for long enough to realise that you carry on a little longer than you should sometimes…"

"This is why you can't leave me like this, you're the only one who understands me and doesn't call me mad…Ok, well you do, but I know you don't mean it. Can you swear to me though, that if something out of the ordinary did happen, and this time you weren't able to cheat death like you have done in your past, that you'll still be with me…"

"George, I'll never leave your side. I love you, always have and always will…" Her voice was becoming weaker; he didn't think she could last much longer.

"Stay with me dear, they're nearly here. You're not going to leave your wreck of a husband on his own now are you? You know I wouldn't last long without you."

"You were perfectly fine before I came along as I seem to remember..."

"Aye, but that was only because I was waiting for you to come and brighten up my life with your fiery temper…I mean hair…"

"Very funny…George, I…I can't see you any more…its fading….going black…"

"No…no…it's just getting late, that's all. Nothing to worry about lass, keep your eyes open, you'll be alright…"

He could hear movement coming closer, at least three, maybe more of the Queens Riders had been sent to look for them by the sound of it. They'd be safe now. He looked warily down at his one and only, realising before he even saw her that it was to late. He had felt his heart break, and knew it, but wouldn't believe that this could happen.

Alanna's eyes were closed, her blooded body unmoving, "Lass…wake up, they're here…help is here…Alanna…don't do this to me…You promised you'd stay with me, never leave my side. Don't break that promise, not now, not ever."


	10. Green Eyes

Whoo, Lots of reviews! Made my night it has. I'm on activities week, so this chapter covers a couple days worth of writing. I finished the HBP, very good I must say, I recommend it. Ok, chapter 8 was a decent length wasn't it? I'll try to make them longer if I can, but its quality not quantity, eh? I suppose that's just an excuse, but a good one none-the-less.

Yay! Chapter 10, thanks to everyone who's supported me this far, I hope I live up to your expectations. I'm so glad I've reached this milestone; it's a big step for me! In this chapter, welcome a certain green eyed meathead…(He does have green eyes doesn't he? He does now anyways.)

Disclaimer is as always, mainly consisting of me glaring at Tamora with envious eyes. Thanks to Animalwriter1 for ideas, if I dn't use them in this chapter, I might later on.

**On top of cloud 9- **Well, I suppose I could make some happier scenes…I am introducing a couple old favourite characters soon…(Or doing more on them, maybe a couple of D/N scenes…what do you think?

**Piglet12345- **More witty one liners to come, don't fret. I'm glad you haven't assumed she dies, as I think a little healing is in order, lets have a happy change from all the death shall we?

**x17SkmBdrchiczxx- **Fortunately for you, I'm going to think about letting her live. For now.

**AnimalWriter1**- The email was…O I haven't got a clue. I have a memory like a goldfish. Truly. I think well…hm. I need to re-read your story to confirm ideas and come up with more, but Numair getting sick would be good, of Daine tries to find out what happened t Ewin, so gets Numair to check him out magically see if he can 'sense' who did it to him, finds out what happened, but Numair becomes sic that way. That'd be interesting. Up to you though.

**Kings Lioness- **I sure hope Kel wouldn't do that. But maybe she would…Lets hope shes being possessed shall we?

**Chapter Ten: Interogations**

_Recap: Alanna's eyes were closed, her blooded body unmoving, "Lass…wake up, they're here…help is here…Alanna…don't do this to me…You promised you'd stay with me, never leave my side. Don't break that promise, not now, not ever." _

(DOM POV)

Dom watched as the knights roughly knocked the impostor out. He had known something was wrong, in the back of his mind, he'd felt something was off- he just hadn't placed Kel at the centre of it. If only he had been more observant, maybe he would have spotted the signs of trouble earlier, and saved his friends. First Buri, then Raoul, and now Alanna- no one could have survived that drop, could they? He'd be sure to check in the infirmary, after he'd talked with 'Kel'. Why had he been so naive? He'd believed everything she'd said, hung on her every word because his heart had told him too. He wouldn't make that mistake again, it would only cost more lives. He'd fallen for her tricks hook, line and sinker- but he wasn't the only one. Lots of other people had talked to her, and hadn't noticed anything- he wasn't to blame for this. But he was one of her closest friends, he should have noticed something strange, it's what he had spent years training to do, spotting things that other people just pass by. He'd failed everyone he loved, he'd failed Tortall.

He wandered down the corridor, following the jostling knights. He spotted a body on a stretcher, heading towards Duke Baird's chambers. Could it be Alanna, could she have survived the fall? He ran towards it, passing Kel- he'd catch up with her in the cells below the castle to have their talk.

"Alanna?" The closer he became, the less he hoped it was Alanna. In any other circumstances this would have been unusual, but he really prayed that this wasn't her- that she wasn't punctured on a wooden stake. They should have removed that from them by now shouldn't they? Unless it had pierced something where pulling it out would kill her…

"George, is that you?" He had never seen George cry before, he was normally optimistic about everything, annoyingly so sometimes. It wasn't looking great.

(George POV)

The Queen's riders and the green eyed healer had come just in time, another minute and she would have been gone for good- but looking at her now, it may have been better for her if she had died; she wouldn't be suffering like she was now. She was clutching onto her last strings of consciousness knowing fully that if she fell asleep- she wouldn't wake up again. When they had come to their rescue, he had doubted the youth's abilities. Now, George was a very trusting man even though he was quick to judge. The first impressions he received were usually right, therefore he was rarely wrong about people. Of course it did help to have the sight. He could sense power in him, and experience beyond his years. This must be the well established Duke Baird's son, a close friend to Kel, and Alanna's squire- he'd heard a lot about him, although never really met him.

(A/N Neal's about 21 say, and doesn't look experienced, Kels about 18 is it? Owell, about those ages, and George hasn't met Neal yet, or only once o twice quickly.)

He was soon taken aback by the talent of Neal, of course he'd _heard_ of how good he was, but he waits to see before he believes. Although there wasn't much he could do to save Alanna, he'd tried his best, and was able to move her onto a stretcher with a minimal amount of pain and get her this far. He'd requested the help of his much admired father for this healing; he'd never tried to pull a wooden pole out of anyone before, especially not his old knight master and champion of Tortall. Too much pressure was on this Lad's shoulders, if he could remove the pole and she lived he could be praised beyond his dreams, but if she died, he'd feel responsible. It was hard choice to make, but he'd felt he'd made the right one.

"There must be something I can do to help, I can't just sit here watching my wife's life in your hands."

"We'll put you to some use, a talented man like you shouldn't go to waste when the more hands available the more chance we have of saving Alanna. I'm sure we could get you heating water or something…" His smile was quickly wiped off when he realised the enormity of the task ahead of him.

"Open that door for us please, George." George would usually feel uncomfortable leaving his love in the hands of a lad of his age, but felt he would do his best to save her.

"George you shouldn't trust my dear cousin here with your wife- I wouldn't trust him with my sandwich…" Dom, who had just rushed down the corridor to meet them, would obviously disagree though.

"Dom, I don't have time for your Meathead jokes, I have a patient here who needs help, so if you wouldn't mind…" He indicated that Dom should move, or face an angry healer.

"Calling you meathead never even crossed my mind, ok it did once or twice." His laughing tone died, and was replaced by a deadly serious one. "I want you to know though, that whatever happens in there, you are a great healer, and that'll you'll try your hardest. George, your wife couldn't be in more trustworthy hands." And with that He ran off in the direction of the cells.


	11. Interrogations and Tempers

Ok, Onwards with chapter 11. Sorry its been forever before I've updated I'm off school now…and I'm having the dreaded writers block. (But do not fret, All is still well) I hadn't actually read my story from start to finish before, and I still haven't- BUT I read from chapter 5 to half way through chapter 11, and its getting better. What do you think?

Ps. Sorry about all the mistakes in the last chapter, I was in such a hurry to post it I didn't have time to check it. Can someone please tell me if Dom is in the King's Own or Third Company? Or both even?

Disclaimer is as always, mainly consisting of me glaring at Tamora with envious eyes. Thanks to Animalwriter1 for ideas, if I don't use them in this chapter, I might later on.

**On top of cloud 9- **Live or die? At the moment she's alive, so fingers crossed!

**Piglet12345- **Two years doesn't make that much of a difference I suppose and/or hope, sorry about the shortness and I apologise in advance for the shortness of this one :P

**Zerrin of the wind- **I'm glad you love it! Suspenseful is what I'm aiming for, so thanks!

**AnimalWriter1**- A new name would be great, for a bad guy of course. ( Bad Woman actually) So any ideas that cross your mind, just throw them my way. "Don't add too much description, or you'll forget what your describing' True, and very valuable advice, I Thank thee for that, and for being so supportive of my story through the good chapters and the bad.

**Kings Lioness- **I totally understand, in many a fanfic my favourite characters die, well I love them all so it's bound to happen some time…

**Chapter Ten: Interrogations and Punishments**

_Recap: "I want you to know though, that whatever happens in there, you are a great healer, and that'll you'll try your hardest. George, your wife couldn't be in more trustworthy hands." And with that He ran off in the direction of the cells._

(Dom POV)

What cell did they say she was in? 1? No, that was empty- unusual thoughfor this time of year. Normally there were quite a few commoners in here for being disorderly, only kept overnight though of course, not many people spent more time than that here- not many would want to.

Dom could hear screams of protest from around the next corner; he had a feeling that she'd become conscious, and was none too happy about being thrown into a damp cell.

"Sergeant Domitan, I'm ashamed to admit it, but we're having a bit of trouble here with this lass. She's thrashing and kicking, biting and screaming, it's near impossible to get her in there in one piece. We've already got three men down, two nursing broken bones, and the other knocked out completely." A younger knight, who had not yet gained the full experience of being in the King's own had spoken up warily. Dom could see the potential in him, brave enough to stand up to a more experienced knight- it takes some guts.

"Impossible is what the King's Own does best. You'll learn that soon enough." He turned to the remaining few who weren't unconscious or injured; they were still battling the ferocious Kel. "You there, grab that rope and tie it round her wrists and ankles. Make sure that Kel- I mean _she_- can't move an inch. What are you standing there for? Midwinter? Well you won't live until then if you don't move when I say so, so get those damned ropes around her now!"

"So this is Lady Knight Keladry is it, sir? I pictured her feisty, but this is ridiculous…"

"No, its not her."

"You're certain? It looks an awful lot like the one I saw once in…"

"Yes I am. If you wish to carry on questioning the knight in command here, feel free to do so- but if you wish to keep your arm I'd greatly appreciate it if you did what you were told to. Now don't get me wrong, I'm usually first in line for a joke or prank, but this is no time to be off your guard- it could cost you a lot more than that arm of yours."

He wouldn't really cut off his arm of course, but the rumours that had spread around earlier that year of him cutting off a knight's hand due to stupidity had finally worked to his advantage- it was about time gossip was put to some use other than to ruin reputations.

Once the unruly Kel was subdued temporarily (They were only able to calm her with a little help from the passing Black robed mage, Numair), they transferred her from the dimly lit corridor into her cell for the night- but unless Dom was able to get understandable excuses for what she had done, she'd be staying in there for a _lot_ longer than she'd want to. With one count of murder, and one of attempted murder, there's no doubt that she'd better start calling the dingy block home.

She was sat on a bench at the far end of the room, while Dom stayed behind the bars for his own safety- not that it made him feel any safer. He felt she could rear up and attack any time she wanted too, and that made him wondered why she hadn't done already. She'd probably be able to kill him before he was able to call for backup, or even draw his sword- which wasn't helping his haywire nerves.

"So, explain your actions." He tried to control his anger, but it was hard when talking about the death of one of his closest friends, Raoul. He'd been like a father to Dom, one of the few who understood that underneath his care free and jokester front, there was someone who cried out for help- Raoul was the only one who had answered.

"Explain you actions, what?"

"This isn't time to mess about. Explain them or you will be killed before next sun rise."

"Well then if that's the case manners take priority. So what did you say?"

"Please can you explain your actions." Dom replied through gritted teeth, she wasn't going to make this easy.

"Now once more with feeling."

Dom lost his cool, not that he had it to begin with. "Look, we can either do it your way and you'll be killed within hours, or my way. Let me give you a clue to the right answer just in case you are unable to understand-. _My way._"

"Well if you put it that way of course I'll answer your brilliant questions."

"Good."

"I was being sarcastic meathead."

"I don't care." Finally some sort of progress, well going around in circles is some sort isn't it? "So why did you do it?"

"Do what?" A grin formed on her bruised face. It sent a chill down Dom's spine.

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about."

"Elaborate for me."

"Raoul! You killed him and I want to know why!" He ran up the cold bars, tears flowing down his cheeks at the memory of his good friend. He was angry at her making a mockery of him, of Raoul, of everything knights stood for. She deserved to die- but not before he got some answers out of her.


	12. Toothpicks and Deals

To elaborate on past chapter: Only one murder (Buri) as Raoul was technically suicide (Good for Kel, bad for everyone else) Is that right? And the attempted murder is Alanna, at the moment at least anyway- it could turn to murder ;) Well I'm not overly sure what characters this chapter will be focusing on- whichever one I choose the opposite will be done in the next one. If you could vote on which people you would like me to focus on for the upcoming ones, that'd be great. (I will go through them all eventually, but for the time being. Obviously bits and pieces of other people's POV will be thrown in where appropriate.) I hope that length of the story was good this time.

Thank you for clearing up the knight mistake- I'll try to get that right next time- I'll stick with Dom/Sergeant. Not to forget the query about King's Own/Third Company. He's in both. That makes life a lot easier. Now where would I be without you guys to help me?

**Disclaimer** is as always, mainly consisting of me glaring at Tamora with green eyes. (Very much like Neal's eyes!) Thanks to Animalwriter1 for past ideas and no doubt future ones too, and not to mention all my reviewers who answer my questions and so willingly correct my mistakes :P. (I am grateful for this, so don't read that as sarcasm please- more wit…)

**On top of cloud 9- **I very much agree with you there- Kel is _past _creepy.

**x17SkmBdrchiczxx- **I'm sorry about the lateness of this chapter, I will try to update more often.

**Zerrin of the wind- **Aw, its very nice of you to feel sorry for our Dom. It's not going to get any easier for him though!

**AnimalWriter1**- Thanks for the names- I'm looking through them now- I think I'll write this chapter first, and see what sort of name will suit her.

**Nativewildmage- **Thanks for clearing up the Knight thing for me, well after all this I think he deserves to be one, don't you? Thank you for complimenting my emotion-working, I didn't think it was any good- but I seem to be mistaken. You do work well with your emotions, I've read some of you stories and they are fantastic!

**Now without further a due I give you chapter 12…**

**Chapter Twelve: Toothpicks and Deals**

_Recap: He was angry at her making a mockery of him, of Raoul, of everything knights stood for. She deserved to die- but not before he got some answers out of her._

(DOM POV)

"No need to get your tunic in a twist, I only wanted you to explain things for me-"

"-because you're too lazy, dim witted and annoying to do it for yourself?"

Dom couldn't help but retort- he was starting to hope sunrise came a lot quicker- the quicker it came, the quicker she would be out of his life for good. But what help would that be? If she died now, he'd never find the real Kel, she'd leave too many unanswered questions that Dom (and not to mention half the kingdom who witnessed the past events) wanted answers for.

"Now that wasn't very nice now, was it? You've upset my sensitive feelings- I don't think I want to answer any more questions. I think I'll go to bed."

"Wait, look- If you go to bed, the first and last thing you see when you wake up will be the noose, guillotine or something equally deadly which you won't be able to charm your way out of. Now, if you'd care to answer my questions then, well, we could maybe try and work something out for you."

"So basically my choices are, life imprisonment and you get to walk away satisfied with the answers I give you, or I'll die and leave you in suspense? Well in that case, I'll take what's behind door three, thanks."

"There wasn't an option three…"

"I've made one."

"I can see that, thank you very much. So what's your 'Option three'?" He obviously wouldn't let her have a choice between all of them, but still- he was curious as to how she thought she'd escape- or die happier. So he let her go on.

"Right well option three is," She scanned the room looking for something; the cell must really be getting to her if she was becoming this paranoid so quickly. "Don't dismiss it until you've heard me out, ok?"

"You're in no place to start giving orders now- you lost that privilege when you loosed that arrow."

"It wasn't an order- I was merely _asking _if you wouldn't interrupt. So if you don't mind, I'm going to carry on with my option three." Dom nodded as politely as he could- the complete and utter opposite of what he really wanted to do. To Kel he resembled a nodding wooden dog- the kind you get on the back of carts -but decided not to bring that point up. For her own safety of course.

"Right well, here goes. I'll answer any questions you might have to the best of my abilities, and as an added bonus- but this is only if you're good- I'll tell you where Kel is…or _was_ by the time you get there-"

"-Kel's dead!"

"What part of don't interrupt do you not understand? Let me finish my proposition first. Hold your tongue, ok?" She paused- she wasn't expecting an answer, but it was for dramatic effect to add to the suspense. "And all I want in return is-"

"-You're in no position to try and strike a deal with me, you know we aren't going to let you go free, and we don't have anything you want…do we?"

"Soldiers really live up to their dumber than average stereotypes don't they? When I ask you not to butt in- you don't. It's not hard to understand, and it's even easier to do, so if you don't mind- this is the last time I'm going to warn you otherwise I'll just stay quiet. That's not too hard to grasp is it?" She waited and counted to three in her head, "Now I'm going to take your awkward silence and unnerving stare as a yes. All I want in return is-" She held up her hand to stop Dom from cutting short her speech once more. "- quiet now. All I want is a chat with the admirable King Jonathan."

"What? Why?" Shocked, this was all he was able to spurt out. He was expecting something more along the lines of pheasant for her last meal, or another week to live, or a bottle of poison for herself…not a _chat_. She has to have something up her sleeve, or trick or spell that she wants to use on the King. Did she? She was thoroughly searched while unconscious, and they could only find a toothpick and a small bottle of water- much harm they could do. Even so, they did send a drop of the water to Numair to check over, you never now these days what could be hidden inside the smallest thing. They'd let her keep the clear liquid- if she'd try to kill herself it'd be annoying yet life would go on. But the toothpick was confiscated, if that was stabbed into someone it might splinter- and splinters can be worse than stab wounds some times.

"So, is it a deal?"


	13. Metaphors and Thirst

Right well I seem to be back on track, (as in I know where I'm going with this) there will probably be aomewhere in the region of 17-20 chapters. But I don't really plan that far ahead, So here goes.

**Disclaimer** is as always, mainly consisting of me staring at Tamora with green eyes. (Very much like Neal's eyes!) Thanks to Animalwriter1 for past ideas and no doubt future ones too, and not to mention all my reviewers who answer my questions and so willingly correct my mistakes on information taken from the glorious TP books :P. (I am grateful for this, so don't read that as sarcasm please- more humour…)

**Irish Violinist- **Thank you for reviewing, and I'm glad you want me to update- that's what I'm here for.

**Nativewildmage- **Ah, Thanks for complimenting my Title chapter. I usually muck them up (The title I put is different than the one it says on the story) but I seem to have sorted that out. I've started a pattern with them- Something and Something usually.

**Kings Lioness- **Yup, you were right all along- it wasn't the real Kel. Well I believe that Alanna is going to appear in this chapter- so you'll soon find out.

**On top of cloud 9**- Thank You.

**Redbird-flying-away –**I'm thrilled you love it. I didn't see it coming either but I had t think of something a little more…obscure but it does have reasoning behind it.

**Now without further a due I give you the greatly anticipated chapter 13 (Dramatic? Moi? Never.) …**

**Chapter Thirteen: Metaphors and Thirst**

_Recap: "So, is it a deal?" _

(DOM POV)

Dom had been waiting in the King's Study for what seemed like forever, pondering over what should be done. Obviously it wasn't up to him, the situation was out of his hands- but what would he do? She only wants a harmless (Or so he hoped) chat, nothing wrong could come of that, could it? Just as he was faced with this problem, the King strode into the room, followed by his council of close and powerful friends- Numair was there with his partner Daine, Lord Wyldon of Cavall, and one of his two spymasters- Sir Myles.

Dom felt out of his league surrounded by some of the most famous and powerful people in the realm, but quickly realised that he had met them all before once or twice- and were as down-to-earth and normal as himself.

They took armchairs and seats dotted around the room, and the King addressed them.

"Everyone, I'm sure you've all Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle- he was the one in charge of the operation. Now, do you know why I've called you all here?" There was a murmur of 'No,' and questioning stares. "Well a situation has arose-"

"-What do you mean by 'situation'? You use the word lightly, but it could mean anything from she's escaped killing five men, or she's broken a nail on her cell door. Which is it?" The man who interrupted was Lord Wyldon, who had resigned from training the new pages a few years before but was still well respected and had plenty of experience in and out of the field. Everyone here was a friend of King Jonathan so felt comfortable enough to express their views- even I it meant interrupting the King of Tortall's welcome speech.

"If you let me continue, I was just about to get to that." Jonathan was used to tempers- he'd known Alanna since they were young. "I've realised there's no point me beating about the bush, so here it is. The prisoner that we know currently as 'Keladry of Mindelan' has offered a deal."

"She is hardly in a place to try and strike a deal, if I may say so." It was Sir myles who had expressed his opinion this time.

"What kind of deal?" The room was silenced by the mage's words.

"She will answer any questions and may tell us the whereabouts of the real Keladry-"

"If you give me a day, two at the max, I could find out where she is without asking her. Or if you just give me half a day with her I'm sure I could make her break."

"By then it may be too late for Kel." Dom stepped out from the shadow of the door, and all heads had turned to him. "I thank you for your offer Sir Myles, but under these circumstances I think it may be better if we co operated to a certain extent. I was given the impression that the real Kel was in danger- and may already be, as afraid I am to admit it- dead. We need to act fast if we have even the slightest chance of saving her."

"What does she want in return?" Daine spoke quietly, but everyone listened to her words- she and Numair seemed to be the only ones who were thinking straight.

"She wants to have a chat with me." Jonathan's words were greeted by a wave of confusion.

"Then what is there to discuss? We can still save Kel, and all we need is five minutes of your time. It's hardly one to think about." Lord Wyldon said what everyone thought by was too scared to actually say.

"That's true- but there are some things I need you all to do before hand. Daine, if it's not too much trouble, can you ask any animals if they've seen anything suspicious around here in the past week or so. Numair, have you finished the tests on that sample of liquid Sergeant Domitan sent you?" Numair shook his head.

"I'll go finish them as quickly as I can."

"Don't rush them though, "Jonathan shouted as Numair and Daine hurriedly walked out of the door. "Now Sergeant Domitan, could you and half a dozen of your men escort the prisoner here, I'll be waiting for our chat. Tell her we've agreed to her terms. Sir Myles if you can find out anything you possible can from your souces it would be a great help- and Lord Wyldon?"

"Yes King Jonathan?" Finally some proper work to do!

"You couldn't get me a drink from the kitchens, could you? My throat is parched…"

"Of course…" Lord Wyldon attempted a smile (failing miserably) and exited the room.

(Dom POV)

The keys unlocked the door with a loud _click_. Kel awoke and a grin spread across her face.

"So, he's agreed to the deal has he?"

"King Jonathan has accepted your terms, yes. You will receive a chat with his Highness, but I will be present- and I will watch you like a hawk."

"Are you going to shapeshift into one then?"

"No, it's a metaphor."

"Pretty crappy metaphor isn't it? I mean you can't even change into a hawk so I don't know what the point in even saying it was…"

"Look, be quiet or you won't get to see him. It's as simple as that. Now, while we escort you up to the study, why don't you go over all possible meanings of the phrase 'Silent as the grave' in you head?" He patted her on the head. "Now that's a good girl." And with that he lead her away from the dreary cell, and up towards the King.

_(A/n I believe that was a phrase said in pirates of the Caribbean- but when I look at online scripts it isn't on there- but hey, I've got it from somewhere.)_


	14. Ticking and Staggering

Okey Dokey, well this chapter will be up earlier than anticipated because well I have 59 minutes to spare before CSI/Shakespeare in Love is on. So enjoy! O before I forget- Lookout for a new comedy once this is completed, I have a wonderous idea.

**Disclaimer** is as always, mainly consisting of me staring at Tamora with green eyes. (Very much like Neal's eyes!) Thanks to Animalwriter1 for past ideas and no doubt future ones too, and not to mention all my reviewers who answer my questions and so willingly correct my mistakes on information taken from the glorious TP books :P. (I am grateful for this, so don't read that as sarcasm please- more humour…)

**Irish Violinist- **Of course! Suspense? Moi? Never.

**Nativewildmage- **Ah, now you'll just have to wait and see- it's getting there don't worry, slowly but surely…

**Kings Lioness- **Sorry about that- I don't really plan what's going into the chapter much- just where its going to end up. I'll try to fit her in here though, if not there will be a special chapter devoted to her. (Especially for you of course)

**Zerrin Of the Wind**- Lucky for you have some time here- so you don't have to wait long for the next update.

**x17SkmBdrchiczxx –**I'm pleased someone around here enjoys cliffies! Yes I suppose so, but he didn't want to seem annoyed in front of someone so high up- it wouldn't be good for his career now would it?

**Redbird-flying-away –**Thanks! Well it was along those lines anyhow.

**Now without further a due I give you the eagerly waited for chapter 14…(Me? A player along the lines of the Queenscove clan? It's very likely.)**

**Chapter Fourteen: Ticks and Races**

_Recap: He patted her on the head. "Now that's a good girl." And with that he lead her away from the dreary cell, and up towards the King…_

Alanna was in a grand room with a blazing fireplace, three out of four walls lined with books, and two armchairs separated by a table in the centre of the room. A half empty glass of water was stood lonely on the table. Was it half empty, or half full? That was meant to show whether you were pessimistic or optimistic- in this case, Alanna was pessimistic. Something didn't feel right- a sense of unease in the air, but she couldn't place where it was going from. The armchair- someone was sat there. Walking over to the centre of the room, she found herself looking at her close friends King Jonathan. Well there was nothing wrong with this picture- he's always in his study…but still there was a nagging dread at the back of her mind.

"Jonathan?" He didn't move nor stir. Come to think of it, his chest wasn't moving either… "Jonathan?" This time it was more of a cry for help rather than a question. She placed her hands over his still chest, her magic running through him. There was nothing more she could do- he was dead.

A chill crept down Alanna's spine. Probably from the shock of seeing Jonathan, She spun round and came face to face with Kel smirking behind her, holding a now empty bottle. 

"It's too late dear Alanna- there's nothing you can do to change his fate. What sort of King's champion are you? He's about to die and all you're doing is lying in a hospital bed asleep. Well wake up, not that it'll do any good. Time is ticking Alanna, you can try to save him if you're quick enough…_tick tick tick._ How quick are you Alanna? Fast enough? _Tick tick tick _We'll soon see. You've already wasted enough time here- wake up. _Tick tick **click**_

Alanna awoke drenched in sweat, her torso filled a fiery pain.

"That was one strange nightmare…unless it wasn't a nightmare…" Alanna's mumble words became more frantic. "It did feel more real than normal dreams, although I'm probably mistaken. It must have just been one awfully disturbing nightmare. That's it."

_Tick tick tick Alanna, time is running out…_

"Ok, now I know I wasn't imagining that. It must have been a vision, which means…oh bloody hell…" Cursing Gods of all shapes and sizes, she jumped out of bed throwing the covers behind her, or well tried to. In her case it was stagger out of bed _tripping_ over the covers, but that wouldn't sound very heroic now, would it?

"I'm getting too old for this sort of thing," she mumbled picking her self up and stumbling towards the infirmary doors.

(DOM POV)

"Now if you try anything, and I mean _anything_ I will not hesitate to kill you. By anything I mean any tricks you have up your sleeves…"

"I'm not wearing any sleeves." Kel pointed out as if it was obvious- it was really.

"I suppose that solves that problem then." Dom had been stood outside the door debriefing the prisoner of the do's, and well the long list of don't even tries for her chat with Jonathan.

"What do you mean by anything? What happens if I sneeze?"

"It will be seen as an attempt to contaminate he King with illness, which may lead to his death, so in theory you would be trying to assassinate the king. So don't try it."

"What happened to the Sergeant who liked to pull practical jokes, the one who would laugh in the face of danger?"

"He only makes appearances to people who deserve them. And you're bottom of the list."

"What list would that be?"

"About everyone one of them."

"O."

Fed up of where this conversation was taking them, Dom opened the oak doors, and led the captive into the room. The king was sat in an armchair next to the roasting fire, drinking a glass of water. Once they entered he placed down his drink and motioned for Kel to sit opposite him. Dom stood guard by the door in case she wanted to try and esaped -he would be there to cut her down before she was even able to come within three feet of the door handle.

"Take a seat please Keladry." As soon as she was seated, he offered her a drink. Sh politely refused.

"May I ask why you asked for a talk with me? Have very little to say that will interest you."

"On the contrary, everyone word you say holds interest for me. Actually I believe I will have that drink. Water please, no ice."

"Of course. Dom, would you mind bringing me the glass behind you on the cabinet?"

His back was turned, gathering the water. Dom's attention was focused on the glass. This would be the time to put her plan into action. She slipped her hand into her pocket, and brought out the bottle of clear liquid that they stupidly let her keep. She was careful to spill any, apart from in the King's drink of course.

(Alanna's POV)

After staggering through the double doors, she bumped into a healer on his way to check in on her.

"You're not meant to be out of bed Alanna, you need your rest."

"But this is an emergency-"

"It always is with your sort. Now off to bed with you. No arguing, you won't get better out here- only worse."

"You don't understand-"

"I know you're not one to rest, but it is for the best. I assure you. Now please go back to bed, I don't want to have to use force." How will she get out of this? Charm? That'd all been used up. Wit? Only George had that. Violence? It'd solved all her problems so far, this should be no different.

"Look a dragon!"

"Where?"

It was the oldest trick in the dustiest book, and it really shouldn't have worked. He fell for it though, obviously not being one of the bright ones of his year. When his back was turned she kicked him in the leg as best she could with her stomach bound in bandages, and limped down the hallway. She didn't get very far though before bashing into another unsuspecting wanderer, out for a late evening stroll.

"Alanna? What are you doing up? You're supposed to be in bed resting."

"Numair? I would love to stay and chat but I had this vision about the king and well it's not looking good…"

"I'll come with you. You see I finished testing the liquid that Dom gave me, and it's a poison- most likely fatal if drunk."

"Oh no. It all makes sense…the vision, the poison, the glass of water…We need to stop that 'chat' now."

_Time is ticking Alanna…tick…tick…tick…_

They scrambled up, Numair leaving all his scrolls behind- he'd collected them at some point later. If he heard Alanna's ramblings correctly, Keladry was out to poison the King. He just hoped they'd get there in time.


	15. Time's Run out

I'm on a roll, well kind of. I thought I'd start writing this chapter now because well…I have nothing else o do currently- aren't you all so darn lucky? Did anyone else notice the chapters are gradually getting longer? Yay! A twist is coming up in the next chapter, can anyone guess what it is?

**Disclaimer** is as always, mainly consisting of me staring at Tamora with green eyes. (Very much like Neal's eyes!) Thanks to Animalwriter1 for past ideas and no doubt future ones too, and not to mention all my reviewers who answer my questions and so willingly correct my mistakes on information taken from the glorious TP books :P. (I am grateful for this, so don't read that as sarcasm please- more humour…)

**Kelly Masbolle- **Really? Aw, that's very sweet of you. I'm going to write to other stories I have planned after this one is finished, so I hope you go on and enjoy them as well!

**Nativewildmage- **To kill Jon or not to kill Jon? (Sorry, Shakespeare in love went to my head!) You'll just have to see…

**Zerrin Of the Wind**- I hope I wasn't the only one shouting 'Limp Alanna Limp!' while reading this…

**Redbird-flying-away –**I'm starting to feel bad for Jonathan, he's not had much luck, but Numair doesn't have much in this one either… (Spoilers? Well you'll just have to wait and see…)

**Now without further a due I give you the eagerly waited for chapter 15…(15 chapters? Wow, didn't think I'd get this far!) **

**Chapter Fifteen: Time's run out**

_They scrambled up, Numair leaving all his scrolls behind- he'd collected them at some point later. If he heard Alanna's ramblings correctly, Keladry was out to poison the King. He just hoped they'd get there in time._

Alanna struggled to get back onto her feet, her stitches had held so far, but it wasn't feeling good.

"Here Alanna, take my hand." Numair was always such a gentlemen, even in the worse of times- like now for instance. The King's life was in danger and he'd stopped to help Alanna up. Even so, Alanna could see what Daine saw in him… but he didn't have George's roguely wit now, did he?

"Alanna, what are you doing out of bed? I worked long and hard to save your life and to repay me you're frolicking around with Numair. Well next time I don't think I'll save your life…"

"Neal?"

"Yes, o ungrateful patient of mine?"

"Shut up."

Once Alanna was up on her feet, Numair was never far ahead of her, in case something went wrong- much to her protests.

"Where are you two off to?" Neal shouted, trying to hide his curiosity.

"To save the king…" That was about all Alanna could manage to say without her pain increasing. Her once white bandages were now soaked with blood. She wouldn't let Neal stitch her up again- if she lived to get stabbed again that is.

"That's not fair- you always get the credit for saving the King-" Neal said, running to catch up with them.

"-that's because we always do Neal…what are you doing?" It was Numair who replied, sensing Alanna's stress- and the fact that she was battling with her blood stained bandages. If they didn't get there soon, they might lose both the King and Alanna…

"This time I want to come with you, recieve my well earned share of the glory."

"You haven't done anything."

"Yes I have."

"No you haven't." Men were so stubborn sometimes.

"I _so_ have."

"You _so_ have not." So much for Numair being a gentleman...

"Er I've done more than you have actually…"

"What? You have not- you remember I'm a mage don't you Neal?"

"Yes I have!"

Alanna stopped dead in her tracks (Well not literally, not yet anyway…) making the arguing boys bash into each other. Serves them right.

"Ow, what did you do that for?" Neal retorted rubbing his bruised head.

"Right you guys- you're acting like three years olds arguing over who gets the last sweet. For you information, I'd get it at this rate. Do you want to carry on fussing over who did what, or do you want to save the King?" Alanna waited for an answer.

"Save the king…" They both replied in unison, looking at their feet.

"Good, so let's go. Wait. Neal, are you _crying_?" Neal shook his head, and quickly mumbled something about having dust in his eye. Typical.

The doors were ahead, beautifully crafted to be welcoming yet intimidating…but this was no time to be admiring the woodsmen's work. A life was at stake- but they were amazingly built…_No_ Alanna. Focus.

_Tick tick tick Alanna,_ It seemed to be repeating itself whatever was doing that- maybe it was on some sort of loop? If was meant to be annoying, it really worked well._ It's no time to be admiring doors… _

"I wasn't admiring them…just complimenting them for your information." Alanna didn't know who she was talking to, or care for that matter. What she did care about was the fact that her friends were looking at her like she was some sort of escaped lunatic…

"They're locked. The bloody doors are _locked_!" Alanna screamed and started to bang her fists on the door, not making even the slightest dint.

"What do you mean locked?" Neal knew it was stupid question, but it was out before he could stop himself. He received one of Alanna's furious stares. "Maybe if we shout loud enough they'll open for us?"

"They're solid oak, they'll hardly hear anything from out here, it was designed to be soundproof." Alanna sighed, but suddenly an idea hit her- or was that one of Neal's flaying limbs? Well whatever it was, she had an idea from it. "Numair you're a mage, can't you do anything?"

"I'm not prepared for opening doors…I sealed them myself-"

"-Well open them then! Improvise! Blow up half the castle if you have to, I don't care as long as you get us in there _now_!" Numair looked scared, well Alanna usually did that to a person.

"They're password activated, so start guessing what his passwords would be."

"Thayet? Tortall? Whatever his horse's name is?"

" Neal this is serious, guess thing's that he _actually_ might have used." Numair added something that sounded along the lines of Meathead to the end of his sentence, but Neal wasn't completely sure how Numair would know of his adored nickname…

"Apple Pie? Raspberry Tart? No… Pirate's Swoop?"

"Alanna, don't be ridiculous, why would it be Pirate's Swoop of all places? It's more likely to be Queenscove, which is the _best_ fief in Tortall…" Neal swiftly felt his foot get 'accidentally' squashed by Alanna's. Accidents rarely happen when you're around someone like Alanna.

"Wait I have an idea…Open Sesame!"

"Numair, that's got to be the most obvious password there is in the whole of the realm, he's not going to have that as his password-"

The doors opened.

"Ok, I guess I was wrong."

(Kel's POV, 10 minutes previous)

The plan had been brewing in her head, ever since she was put in the cell. What would get her revenge on everyone who'd wronged her? _Killing the king. _What would make Dom feel like ripping out his own heart? _If the King died and it was his fault. _What would create havoc all over Tortall? _If Jonathan died. _What would be the only thing to satisfy her revenge? _To have the King die._ So it had to be done.

The poison was perfect, it was tasteless, colourless and odourless. An undetectable death. Their mage wouldn't even be able to realise what it was until was too late to do anything. It was perfect.

He brought her the drink. "Thanks." She didn't touch her own, just to make sure she wouldn't poison herself. That's be ironic- to get this far and die because of her own stupidity.

"Keladry, could you come here please?"

"Guess it couldn't do any harm." He pointed to a painting of him and his late Uncle- Roger of Conte. (A/n I can't do the accent on my computer, so bare with me)

"Do you know who he was?"

"Yes."

"And do you know what happened to him?"

"It was a shame."

"Sit back down please. I have nothing more to say to you. We had high hopes for you, the best in your class. I guess it's a _shame _about what you've done. " He picked up his water, and so did Keladry. "A last toast, what would you like to toast to?"

"To Death." Kel smirked, and Jonathan slightly puzzled. They both drank the water all in one; then the doors burst open, spilling Alanna Numair and Neal into the room. Dom realised what had happened, and dived for the glass.

_Tick tick **tock**_

They all were too late. The glasses were empty.


	16. Heroes, Villains and Scooby Snacks

99 reviews! How terrific does that make me feel? Thanks to Animalwriter1 for the first name, and Taggsy (My fabulous sister) for help writing this chapter. Why do you all hate Jonathan so much? Am I the only one to like him?

Yes I know they didn't have Scooby doo back then, but if you can't add your own touch to stories than you can't do much…but Scooby doo has been around for quite along time- you never know, they may have acted it out in theatres or plays rather than T.V…Use your imagination :P

Sorry for the short replies to reviews, I got so many! And for the delay of course, but you can't rush these things…

**Disclaimer** is as always, mainly consisting of me staring at Tamora with green eyes. (Very much like Neal's eyes!) Thanks to Animalwriter1 for past ideas and no doubt future ones too, and not to mention all my reviewers who answer my questions and so willingly correct my mistakes on information taken from the glorious TP books :P. (I am grateful for this, so don't read that as sarcasm please- more humour…)

Scooby Doo and the Gang don't belong to me, so I haven't a clue why you think they would.

The New character is all mine though…

**On top of Cloud 9- **Don't worry about not being on, I've been quite busy myself…

**Irish Violinist- ** Muwhaha! All is revealed in this on…well kind of…

**AnimalWriter1**- You'll have to wait until the next chapter to find out what truly happened, but you can put 2 and 2 together at the end…I think 40-odd would be ample, as long as it isn't rushed.

**Redbird-flying-away –** Hint taken and hopefully done. I hope it was unexpected, I didn't see it coming either...

**X17Skmbdrchiczxx**- I am rather evil aren't I? I take pride in it though…The beans are truly split in this chapter.

**Sorceress Shadow Rain**-Thanks! I'm reading some of your stories too, and I'm sure you'll get more the further you go.

**Zerrin of the Wind**- It's what I do best though, Cliffies and Torturing go hand in hand.

**Kings Lioness**- I killed the King… Or did I? Read to find out…

**Chapter Sixteen :Heroes, Villains and Scooby Snacks**

_Recap: Tick tick **tock**_

_They all were too late. The glasses were empty._

Landing in a big heap of limbs and torsos isn't a recommended way of getting through a door- It's uncomfortable, time-consuming and not to mention embarrassing, never mind when you do it in front of royalty.

But this is exactly what happened to Neal, Alanna and Numair, and let me tell you- it wasn't a flattering position for any one of them. This was the sight that greeted you in the King's grand study where he had held the meeting between himself and the prisoner Keladry just moments beforehand.

Although now it was less serene due to the cursing mass blocking the doorway, and the winded Dom who had misjudged his aim for jumping- so instead of being heroic he looked more idiotic.

"Geht yourh /&#-ing ffoot out ofth my moufh Neal!" Which translated and more politely put would translate as 'Neal, would you mind removing your foot from my mouth, as I am unable to speak- if it's not too much trouble.' But when you're in a squirming pile, and this being teamed with Alanna's infamous rage, this version doesn't really cross your mind..

After the bundle had untangled themselves from each other, it suddenly hit them what they had burst in here for in the first place- to save the king from being poisoned. What they didn't realise was that they were too late…

Straightening himself up, then dusting his robes, Neal proudly shouted 'We're here to save the King from…from…erm…" Neal began stuttering, a deep blush appearing on his cheeks. Alanna buried her head in her hands out of embarrassment- he could really make a fool out of himself sometimes. Numair came to the rescue- it was about time.

'That clear liquid of Keladry's which I have been processing, I have finished my analysis."

"And?" The king enquired. " I hope this is worth interrupting my meeting for…"

"It is Jonathan- It's poison." Jonathan looked at Alanna in disbelief, with the dawning realisation of what had happened.

"You stole my line! I wanted to break the news to him, be the whole dramatic hero, the centre of attention, my 15 seconds of fame…"

"Shut up Meathead, You didn't even know about the poison- you just tagged along for the adventure."

"It hasn't been much of an adventure so far…just a lot of running and falling and to be honest my feet are very sore…"

Numair glared at Neal, who now had the penetrating stares of every occupant in the room on him- all except one.

Kel sat smugly in her armchair watching everyone argue and well, _stare_ unnervingly at the poor lad…. "I hate to break up this heart-warming reunion, truly I do- I mean all you need now is a dog and you could pass for the Mystery Inc gang…in fact, Neal could probably play the part of Scooby. He might finally find something he's good at; maybe he'll deserve a Scooby snack…" Dom and Alanna held back the snarling Neal. "Look, he's already getting into character!"

"That's enough Kel. Neal, calm down. Good boy." Jonathan said a smile tugging at his lips, "So Kel, is there something you'd like to confess?"

"What, apart from slipping poison into your drink while you weren't looking? No, I don't think so, my conscious seems to be clear at the moment. Thanks for asking though."

Gasps emerged from the small audience watching.

"Jonathan we need to get you to the infirmary quick…we can get a cure for it- I'm positive." She came across as confident, but her lavender eyes told a different story- they pleaded with Numair, asking for his help, help he couldn't give them.

"Don't bother, there's no cure- is there Mage?"

Numair was preparing his answer for something like this; it wasn't what he wanted to say- or what they wanted to hear. "I hate to admit it…but she's right." Everyone became silent, their faces pale with anguish, realising that they would lose a friend, a love, and above all a great ruler. The awkward silence was broken after what seemed like an eternity.

"How long is it until it starts to take affect?"

Numair was left to answer the king, "If it's already in your system and my studies are correct, you have about half an hour at the most. Maybe as low as a quarter…"

"Should I send for Queen Thayet, your majesty?" These were the first words Dom had spoken to the King since the interruption, and he hoped they wouldn't be the last. He couldn't help but feel somewhat responsible for this horrendous incident, as if it was his fault he didn't save the King. But he couldn't have seen this coming…could he?

"No, that won't be necessary.'

'But I thought-"

"I said no Sergeant."

"Yes your highness." Dom took a step back, feeling more intimidated than usual by the new side of the King he was seeing.

Tears formed in the corner of Alanna's eyes, she had held them back until now, but it was no us. She let them fall down her cheeks.

"So Keladry, would you care to grant a dying man his last requests? There's only two." He heard muffled sobs from Alanna when he'd mentioned dying.

"Sure, fire away."

"Firstly, I would like to know the name of the girl who outsmarted, and will eventually kill the King of Tortall- namely, me."

"Is that all? Well I'm Keladry of Mindelan, but I assumed you knew that already."

"Your _real_ name, if you please."

"Kai of Mordorian. You can see how easily my name can get mixed up with Kel's, especially when we were inseparable."

"Wait- you and Kel knew each other?" Neal then wondered if this was meant to be a private conversation, but either way it wouldn't stop him eavesdropping.

"Knew each other? Ha! We were like sisters, until I became controlling and obsessive, then she didn't want to know me…well I wouldn't stand for that! One minute she's a sister, the next thing I'm on my own in the gutter; I wasn't going to let her mess around with me like that. She didn't realise how much I idolised her, I looked up to her not only as my big sister, but as a teacher as well. She always was the best at everything, and if she wasn't, she soon would be. I'd have given anything to be like her- then it hit me. I could be better than that- I could actually be _her_! She'd do all the hard work getting a reputation, then I'd come and ruin it all for her, and no one would be the wiser. I kidnapped her while she was by the fountains, wondering what to do about the wedding. She had a crush on Raoul- did you know that? I solved the problem there though, and she didn't have to lift a finger. It was a perfect plan, don't you think?"

"Not really." Neal didn't know what a rhetorical question was.

Ignoring Neal's outburst, she carried on. "And then you all came along and spoilt the surprise didn't you? I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids… At least her reputation is tarnished, and the once great kingdom of Tortall will finally fall without their _great _King Jonathan; and on that note, your last request?"

"Where's the real Kel? You've said before that she probably won't be alive when anyone reaches her, but at least let her have her well deserved funeral."

"I'll leave you with a riddle to find out where she is, because just telling you outright takes away all the fun. _In the caves of the feared Immortals she dwells. Surrounded by endless forest and danger, whether she's alive or dead only time will tell. _Not an altogether bad riddle is it? I'm actually quite impressed with myself there…"

"Can you feel it?" Everyone looked at Jonathan with concern- the poison must have started to take it's toll on him.

"Excuse me?" Kai was just as puzzled as the rest of them.

"The poison; Numair said it should be nearly finished about now…"

"Excuse me? You took the poison if I remember correctly- so you tell me."

"Does it hurt? You organs should be shutting down now, your heart on overdrive, beating faster and faster with every second nearing your death…"

"You're trying to freak me out aren't you? Well it's not working…" Droplets of sweat began to crawl down her face. She began to feel lightheaded. "You're the one dying here, n-not me."

"Then why do I feel fine?"

She suddenly realised what happened, it all made sense.

"Dam"


	17. Wimps, Bodies and Arguments

Wow, more than 100 reviews! I'm so happy :D

Ok well, I would respond to your reviews, but supposedly it isn't a rumour…So until I know otherwise, there won't be any more responses, unless you want me to email you. That's why I've edited out the responses in this chapter, sorry if you didn't get to see yours, but it's better than losing the story.

**Disclaimer** is as always, mainly consisting of me staring at Tamora with green eyes. (Very much like Neal's eyes!) Thanks to Animalwriter1 for past ideas and no doubt future ones too, and not to mention all my reviewers who answer my questions and so willingly correct my mistakes on information taken from the glorious TP books :P. (I am grateful for this, so don't read that as sarcasm please- more humour…)

Scooby Doo and the Gang don't belong to me, so I haven't a clue why you think they would.

The New character is all mine though…

**Chapter Seventeen :Wimps, bodies and Arguments**

_Recap: She suddenly realised what happened, it all made sense._

"_Dam"_

The colour drained from her face; after all she'd gone through to get this far- to be cut down so close to the finishing line was worse than getting killed at the start. She'd worked hard for so long, she'd even gone as far as to make a deal with…All Kai could hope for now was that her master would show her mercy. She hadn't _failed_; as such…she'd just not completed the task. The fact that she was about to die a slow and tormenting death was the least of her worries…

She'd collapsed just after her last outburst, and was surprised to still be breathing; it was shallow and rasping, but breath none-the-less. How had the poison not yet taken effect? Maybe it was going to kick in now, it was due any second. Her dulled senses were beginning to come back to her, the smell of old and long forgotten books, the coldness of the smooth wooden floor, the sounds of faint whispers of people not wanted to be overheard. She replayed the day's events back through her mind; she should be dead right now. Why wasn't she?

"I think she's becoming conscious…maybe…I'm not completely sure…"

"What do you mean you think? She either is or isn't- it's not a hard thing to check for…"

"Fine then Alanna, she _is _regaining her consciousness. Is that better?"

"Yes Neal- a lot better. You could work on your attitude though."

"What do you mean attitude? I _so_ don't have an attitude…"

Numair stifled a laugh, luckily Neal thought he just had some sort of chesty cough, and recommended going to the infirmary to get a bottle of cold syrup.

"I think I'll do fine without, thanks for the offer though Neal."

"Suit yourself Master Salamin- but if you croak tomorrow due to that cough don't come blaming me…"

"I don't think I'd be able too, being dead an all…"

"But Daine was able to bring the dead back to life though, wasn't she? She might do that again…or you might come back as the walking dead; that'd be jolly…"

"Daine brought back the dead yes, but only after being given a gift from the graveyard Hag, and I think you've been hanging around with that Owen a bit too much."

"Why do you jolly think that?"

"He's not _jolly _sure Neal." Alanna was quick to point out her old squire's mistakes- she never could stop embarrassing him for some reason. It was hard to break out of old habits.

"O Gods. Have I...I haven't been…well you know…"

"Saying jolly every time you open your mouth? 'Fraid so lad- but don't worry, I'm sure it's not become that much of a habit…yet…" Neal clasped his hand over his gaping mouth…he'd become Owen of all people…

"Is there no way to…stop…saying the 'J' word?" Every word seemed a struggle for him, so he made sure that the 'J' word never escaped his lips again.

"Well I can always cut off your tongue, then instead of saying jolly you'd be saying 'ollyh.' Would that be any better?"

"Alanna, Numair and Neal- there are more pressing matters at hand." King Jonathan's words cut through the air, the carefree atmosphere shattered like glass. "Does anyone have any suggestions as to what might be done with Kai of Mordoriam? The poison doesn't seem to have killed her…"

"What?" Numair rushed over to where Kai slumped in the chair. "Well it should have taken effect by-" His speech was interrupted by spluttering and coughing.

"-Ah, there she goes…"

"Neal, are you enjoying this?" His smile was hidden too late. Alanna mumbled something along the lines of 'sicko' under her breath, but tried to pass it off as a cough. Again, oblivious to the snickers around him, Neal suggested she go to the infirmary with Numair to get it checked out.

"I think I'll do without…thanks anyways though…I think…" Alanna rolled her eyes, he'd learnt nothing from being her squire, had he?

Movement in the armchair stopped; along with her grunting and gasping.

"I think she's dead…Numair why don't you go check?" He edged forward-

"On second thoughts, Neal, well done for volunteering- of course you can check." Much to his protests of 'I didn't volunteer' and 'Why should I?' he was pushed forwards towards the chair, and only just stopped short of tumbling into Kai.

He prodded. She didn't stir. He prodded again, this time with a little more force. Still no movement.

"Yup she's definitely dead, no movement here whatso-ow! What did she do that for? I didn't prod her _that_ hard…" Neal nursed his head, whining about life being unfair.

"I think she's twitching erratically…"

"Really? You never would have guessed." Neal was still a bit sour from being pushed forward.

"Yes Neal, she really is." Numair had ignored the sarcasm. "But she's stopped now…I think it was just a last spasm of movement…"

"You think or you _know_? 'cause I'm not going another step closer towards her if there's a risk I'm going to get hit with a flailing limb and end up looking like Neal…" This made Neal scowl even harder.

"Alanna stop being such a wimp- you've faced worse things than this in fights." It was Dom first input into the conversation; and Alanna already hated him for it.

"Yes but I didn't have a choice then did I? And I do now…"

"No you don't. Alanna, as King of Tortall and an old friend- I order you to go take a closer look."

"That's not fair-"

"-Life's not fair. You should now that by now. We're waiting Alanna." Grumbling and scuffing her way to the chair, it was slow progress, but progress none the less.

She took one quick glance over the armchair, then came hurrying back.

"Alanna you didn't even look, did you?"

"Numair, you know what curiosity did to the cat, don't you?"

"No, why don't you tell me?"

"It had a fatal incident with the end of my sword. Get the picture?"

Numair nodded and shrunk back, and Neal whispered 'Should have stayed quiet mate,' in his ear. Well he knew that _now_.

"Numair, Alanna, Jonathan, or even Neal- can't you tell with your magic?"

"Can't you go look at her yourself?"

"I'm not going anywhere near her thank you very much."

"Pride of the King's Own you are…" Alanna promptly received a glare from Dom, and if looks could kill, Dom might have stopped himself from saying the next line. But he didn't.

"Well you can talk! You're the bloomin' King's Champion and you're too scared to even look!"

"I'm not scared! You are! You…you…chicken!" Followed up by what seemed to be clucking noises from Alanna, and quickly joined by Neal- any excuse to tease his cousin.

"She's definitely dead you guys." Numair returned from the armchair. "There was no pulse."

"Right, everyone I believe we have a new adventure awaiting us, don't you?"

"What's that then your highness?" Neal's memory could have been beaten by a goldfish- which is saying a lot.

" To save, find and or rescue Lady Knight Keladry. Please tell me you hadn't forgotten that already?"

"No sir, I was just testing you… You passed, just in case you wanted to know…" Neal quickly changed the subject. "So, what shall we do with the body?"

"Leave it here until it changes back from the Keladry form, otherwise it might scare some of her friends if they think we've poisoned her."

"But we didn't poison her did we? I mean she poisoned herself if I remember…"

"That's not all together true Neal, while she was occupied with the painting, and Dom with Kai; I'd switched them over."

"But you'd stayed with her all the time!"

"Neal you meathead; he has a gift- and he used it if I'm not mistaken?"

"Right you are, Numair. Well if that's all, I think we should all take our leave. We'll set out tomorrow morning for the search- I fear we've had enough adventure for today."

Everyone hurriedly left, except Alanna and Jonathan.

"How did you know?"

"Know what?"

"That the drink was poisoned…"

"I didn't." He left the room, and Alanna followed, shutting the doors behind her.

(Midnight; everyone's asleep)

Up in the King's study, where the body of Kai, now fully changed back into her old self, twitched.


	18. Squirrels, moose and pages

Ok well, I would respond to your reviews, but supposedly it isn't a rumour…So until I know otherwise, there won't be any more responses, unless you want me to email you. That's why I've edited out the responses in this chapter, sorry if you didn't get to see yours, but it's better than losing the story.

This won't be as long as the other chapters (Which I'm quite proud of actually- they're getting like 1,300 words each JUST for the story part- not bad, eh?) because I'm going out to the beach soon, but better to update one shortish chapter than not one for another couple of days.

**Disclaimer** is as always if you don't know what it is, read the other chapters please…

**Chapter Eighteen :_ Squirrels, moose and pages_**

_Recap: Up in the King's study, the body of Kai, now fully changed back into her old self, twitched._

"Saddle the horses, we'll be leaving within the hour." Alanna's stomach grumbled in disagreement. "Wait, we need lunch first- saddle them in an hour instead." She didn't say this to anyone in particular, or knew if anyone was actually listening- but she didn't care, someone was bound to take orders from any old voice they heard. What she didn't realise was that there were plenty of people around, but they were hiding from her. Strange what a reputation like Alanna's can do to people…Scanning the corridor up and down, it seemed to be deserted. "Where's a passing page when you need one…" She mumbled to herself. Then she spotted a blur of movement. "Ah, you there!"

"Yes, um…Lady Knight- what can I do for you this jolly fine day?"

"You look like a page- would you be able to make sure King Jonathan's, Numair's, Neal's, Dom's, Daine's, George's…well just make sure every horse in the stables are saddled?"

"Don't pages do that sort of thing usually?" Alanna was drawn to the boy not just because he was the only one for what seemed like miles- but because of his hair. It was a ginger red, much like her own. She found herself lost in a mass of carrot coloured hair…she was brought quickly back to reality when she heard frequent coughing from the boy in front of her.

" Are you alright lad?"

"Fine erm thanks…I was just saying…I'm not a page sir, er miss, erm I mean lady, no wait.."

"Alanna will do finely."

"Yes of course…Alanna."

"Really; you're not a page?"

" I was once a page- it was such a jolly time- but no, I'm a well established Knight now. If I may say so myself."

"Seriously? O, my mistake then. I do remember know- lapse of memory, you know how those things go…Darwin right?

"That's not my given name.."

"Ok, give me two more guesses-"

"I could just tell you if you wanted, it's no trouble on my part."

"No, no, it'll come to me. Jess!"

"Jesslaw sir- I mean Alanna. I'm from the Jesslaw fief…"

"Oh! Don't worry, I've got it now- Owen, am I right?"

"Yes!"

"See, I never forget names- only misplace them. Let that be a lesson to you lad."

"Rightio, if you could just repeat that last bit again…"

(Numair's POV)

The room was in a mess- books covered every surface, unwashed clothes were scattered about the floor, the bed was unmade. It was perfect. You know what they say, most geniuses were untidy- and in Numair's case, that was very true.

The window was open making the curtains float in the gentle breeze. Daine must have been outside with the animals. Numair wondered if she'd found anything out from them. He hoped she had.

As if on cue, Daine entered the room through the open window. She rarely used doors unless she had to- she felt they were unpractical- unlike windows.

"Daine, you're back!" He took her into an embrace, careful not to step on any of her furry, feathered or scaled friends who had followed her in. This time it was three squirrels, four starlings, 2 lizards, and curiously, one mole. He wasn't even going to enquire to how it had got in. At least it wasn't as bad as the time he'd found her trying to fit a moose through the window- antlers and all. He subconsciously rubbed his arm; considering that they were vegetarians, the moose had had a painful bite on him- if he wasn't as quick he could have lost an arm.

"Numair, are you all right sweet?" Daine looked worried, and put a caring hand on his shoulder.

"Yes magelet, I was just thinking back to that moose incident last midwinter…" Numair shuddered at the thought.

"You mean Barry?"

"What?"

"Barry, that was his name. Thinking about it, I haven't seen him since then…I wonder if he's ok?"

Numair began to questions the sanity of Daine- Barry? Well, it was best not to tell her about the new addition to the King's study above the fireplace- she never went in there anyway.

"So, what did your animal friends have to say?"

"What?" Daine seemed lost in conversation with a timid rabbit. When did that get here? He put all queries to the back of his mind, but made a mental note to put locks on the windows in the near future.

"You know, the problem about Keladry? Do you remember her? She's your friend- the one with the ugly dog?"

She tore out of Numairs grasp, seemingly offended by his humouring tone. "Yes thank you, I do remember. And spot isn't ugly- just unfortunate looking. There's no need to speak down to me Numair- I'm not a student of yours any more, so stop treating me like one." With that Daine turned to go, to come face to face with George. "Eavesdropping George? I thought better of you…"

"No lass, I'm here to invite you to another emergency meeting in the stables."

"The stables?"

"Yes- the stables."

"Are you sure you heard correctly?"

"Lass, let me give you a word of advice- never question the King of the Rogues."

"But you're not King of the Rogues any more, are you?"

"Why is everyone around here so curious? Aye, you're right there- but you can take the man out the rogue but you can't take the rogue out the man. Shouldn't you be at the stables by now?" Daine and Numair quickly left the room, George lagging a few seconds behind after staying to watch the squirrels fight over some seeds. It was quite amusing.


	19. Gravy, meetings and roofs

Yes, the chapter was pretty pointless- but they're sometimes the best chapters. It was meant to feature more of Daine and what her animals found out- but I got kind of carried away. You're right; the dog was called jump. That's my goldfish memory for you. Ah well, let's say it had puppies and one of them was called Spot. That'll do for now. Or Daine had a memory lapse- either will suffice.

It's always nice to see new reviewers- and the old ones too. It's made me all bubbly inside getting home and seeing loads of reviews- thanks everyone!

Ok, it's only going to be a couple more chapters- I'm getting to the end of the story. sob This chapter is also a kind of pointless one, although some mysterious unravel. It was fun to write though.

**Disclaimer** is as always; if you don't know what it is, read the other chapters please…

**Chapter Nineteen :_ Gravy, meetings and roofs_**

_Recap: Shouldn't you be at the stables by now?" Daine and Numair quickly left the room, George lagging a few seconds behind after staying to watch the squirrels fight over some seeds. It was quite amusing._

The floor was a mixture of mud and straw, the roof had holes in it, and it stank like a pigsty. That's why it was a perfect place for a meeting when they didn't want to be overheard- and the fact that Jonathan thought he'd kill two birds with one stone, being next to the horses would save them time getting down here to saddle up anyway.

"Right, is everyone here?" King Jonathan looked down the list he'd quickly written up. "Alanna and George?"

"Aye, we're both here."

"Good, I like people who are prompt. Daine and Numair?"

"Yes your highness…"

"No need to be formal here Daine." A blush crept up her cheeks. "Neal and Dom?" No answer. "Anyone seen Neal and Dom?"

(Dom PoV, 5 minutes previous)

"Where did they say to meet?" Neal asked, out of breath from running around the corridors, checking every room he came across.

"You mean you don't remember!" Dom stopped; Neal carried on running until he realised he was talking to thin air.

"Well, kind of.."

"Kind of? We're going to be late for the most important meeting of our lives and you kind of know where it's being held? My god, you're even more idiotic than I thought."

"Thanks."

"It wasn't a compliment Meathead. So what do you mean kind of."

"I remember it starting with a vowel…"

"Seriously? Well that narrows it down." Dom rolled his eyes- he would get paired with someone who has a brain the size of a pea; or a seed. Whichever is smaller.

"I remember! The kitchens! They're holding it in the kitchens!"

"You do know that K is not a vowel, don't you?"

"Erm, sure I do. Now, quick question- for your benefit only- what's a vowel again?" Neal asked, walking out into the centre of a courtyard.

Dom looked up towards the sky. "Please kill me now; or better yet, kill him."

"I'm positive it's in the kitchens Dom, trust me."

"I wouldn't trust you with my apple, so how am I meant to take your word for it now?"

"Maybe because you don't have a clue where to go either- so give me a little credit." Turning back round to face the directions of the kitchens, he somehow managed to trip over his own feet. He stumbled back up, brushed off the dust, and spat out the mouthful of mud. "If anyone asks nothing happened."

"Whatever you say meathead- I think we better check out the kitchens now though, we're already late no thanks to your superb memory."

"Throwing open the door was not a good idea." Neal muttered his agreement, wiping the gravy off his face. "Who would have thought they'd rig the door with a pot of gravy above it?"

"Well, the Own's pranks have had an effect on people, I'll give you that." Neal said, while Dom rung out his clothes, dripping a trail of cold gloop behind them. "So I guess I was wrong about the kitchens then, huh?"

"From once drenched mean to another, I'd say it wasn't the best idea you've had."

"I think it might be the stables though."

"Not this again. You know when we go in there the straw is going to stick to us- we'll scare the horses to death."

"O, ok then, we'll try somewhere else if you want. Where do you think?"

"No where that has food, that's for sure. Let's try the stables then- but I have an idea that will leave us straw free."

"Care to share?"

"All in good time Neal, all in good time."

"Hey- you didn't call me meathead. That's a first!"

"Don't get too used to it."

(Meanwhile back in the stables…)

"I've called you all here this afternoon because the sooner we set out, the sooner we can bring back Keladry unharmed. Now, do we have any volunteers to bring her back?"

"I'll go." Numair stood up, scared, but determined to help.

"I have something to say, if I may interupt."

"Daine, you aren't going to stop me from going, it's my own choice."

"I understand that, but I have information that my help you find the whereabouts." Jonathan nodded- a signal that she should go on. " I've been talking with some of the woodland creatures, and it seems that two days ago, they felt a disturbance."

"Could that not be anything though?"

"I don't think so, they said they saw a woman dragging another one through the woods."

"Did they see where she was taken?"

"Yes, they saw her being thrown into a cave, then a boulder being put in front of it."

"Well that's not so bad, how many caves can there be in the wood?"

"That's the good news George, there's only one."

"Why are we waiting here then lass? Let's get a move on."

"I haven't come to the bad news yet- that cave belongs to a family of Spidren."

"Ah."

"That's not even the bad news- I wondered, how was one woman able to move a boulder in front of the cave, without them attacking her? Then it hit me- she wasn't alone."

"But didn't the animals say they only saw one woman dragging Kel?"

"Yes, that's all they _saw_. But she had to have help- and I think it was from a God."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well your highness, animals have an acute sense for these sorts of things, it tells them to run away actually- and not only did I feel it too when I was out there, but Alanna said she felt it when she was blown out that window."

"I'm not one to argue with my champion and a wildmage, so I don't intend to. I just hope for Keladry's sake that you're both right." Jonathan looked around, "Where are Dom and Neal?"

Their unplanned descent through the roof of the stables had perfect timing- as soon as he'd finished asking the question, everyone heard the splintering of wood, and looked up to see Dom and Neal panicking on the roof. Luckily the group were able to dodge the falling ceiling, and the straw broke the unfortunate pair's fall. What they didn't realise was that they'd fallen into a horses stall- Peachblossom's to be precise.

"Mithros be, you've wrecked the stables!" Jonathan didn't look like a happy bunny, he was more of an unhappy-fuming-about-to-explode-with-anger sort of bunny. While Alanna and George decided to take the more light-hearted side of things i.e. roll around in hysterics, Numair tried to comfort Daine, saying the horses were fine- that there was no need to fret. It wasn't looking good for the boys though.

Staggering to their feet, Dom was the first one to realise the immediate danger they were in, not from the beetroot red King, but from the horse. He wondered why Peachblossom hadn't tried to bite him yet, then saw the cornered Neal and decided to make a run for it.

"Sorry meathead, but it's every man for themselves." With that he'd jumped over the still standing stall, and ran to meet the others. "Thought we'd just drop in, you know."

"You're late." Jonathan did well to hide his anger, but it was a volcanic eruption waiting to happen.

"Ah- blame the goldfish man over there." Dom replied, pointing over to the cowering Neal.

"You mean you left him in there to fend for himself!" Alanna stepped forward, her infamous temper showing. Coming towards him, she started to push Dom back towards the direction of the stall. "What sort of pathetic cousin are you? He looks up to you, even admires you, and you leave him in his time of need?"

"He's a Knight, and a grown man, I'm sure he's more than capable-"

"That's not the point! You left him alone, he could die in there, and how would that make you feel? Having your cousin's death on your conscious for the rest of your pitiful life? Hm? If you were in his position, he'd be the first in there to rescue you. I hope you're ashamed- you should be. Poor defenceless Neal is fighting for his life-"

"-Against a horse...?"

"Yes Dom, a flippin' temperamental horse! It doesn't matter whether it was a sparrow or a griffin he's fighting, you left him and that's all that matters. Now get back in there, or I'll demote you, Sergeant!" With one final push, he was in the stall along with Peachblossom and Neal- currently trying to dodge having his leg bitten off.

"Well aren't we in a pickle here cousin? I'm having any limbs bitten off, and you're standing there watching. We'll next time you're fighting for your life, don't expect me to come running. Dom looked around for some sort of weapon, not to hurt Peachblossom, but it would make him feel more confident. He seemed to be out of luck, not that he'd had any lately.

"Stay still Neal!"

"What? I think that gravys gone to your head…" He lunged left, but made a break to the right- and was free! Actually he was just behind Dom who had legged it out of the stall moments before him. He was at the gate- and that's when it bit him, right in the butt.

"Shut the door, shut the door!" Daine ran to close the stall gate, soothing the kicking Peachblossom while she was there. "Where were you when I was stuck in there with that…that…demon?"

"I was tending too other horses- luckily they're all unharmed or I would have been really annoyed."

"Neal, are you alright? You're walking with a kind of... limp."

"Uh huh…"Tears welled up in his eyes, but he was unable to hold them back.

"Neal, let me heal you. Where are you hurt?"

He turned round and showed Alanna his wound, she couldn't help but smile. Five minutes and one embarrassing healing later, they were ready to depart.

"Numair, George, Alanna, Dom and Neal, are you ready to go?" He scanned the rescue party, he wished he could go as it looked like it was going to get interesting- but his other duties held priority. "Daine and I are staying here, if you need us use the powder Numair has. You throw it in the fire and say the name of the person you wish to make contact with. Good luck to you all, I want all of you to come back in one piece preferably. 'Till we meet again." He turned and wandered back up to the palace, only pausing for an emotional Daine to catch up with him.

"Now we're all set, think we should set off on our rescue."

"You're right Alanna, let's head on out. Isn't this going to be a grand adventure?" George grinned to himself, it was a long time since he was this excited.

"I'll race you all to the woods!" The words had hardly left Neal's mouth before he had sped off, leaving a dust cloud behind him. This was going to be one unusual experience, that's for sure.


	20. Tweets, Monsoons and Mud

I'm glad everyone enjoyed the last chapter- the gravy seemed to be a big success. Well, here goes with the 20th chapter…Wow, 20 chapters already?

This one isn't as long as the other before it, but is still about 900 or so words. Enjoy! (I might edit the first few chapters so they're a bit longer, what do you think?)

**Disclaimer** is as always; if you don't know what it is, read the other chapters please…

**Chapter Twenty :Tweets, Monsoon and Mud**

_Recap_: _"I'll race you all to the woods!" The words had hardly left Neal's mouth before he had sped off, leaving a dust cloud behind him. This was going to be one unusual experience, that's for sure._

Tweet. Tweet. Rustle. Snarl. Twe-. Burp.

Those were the incessant sounds that greeted the company in the 'wood.' Although the only thing it had in common with a wood is that you're surrounded by trees- everywhere. Other than that, it was the complete opposite.

It felt like they had been travelling for days, weeks even, when in fact they'd only been travelling for three and a half minutes. They say time flies when you're having fun, but Neal found that time actually slows down when you're scared witless and bored to death. Or at least gives a terrific illusion of doing so.

"Are we there yet?" Numair was the only one who was able to tell the time by the whereabouts of the sun in the sky, so he was the one who was getting frequently pestered by Neal. He would have been able to tell how long they'd been there, but it seemed that the 'trees' were purposely annoying them by blocking the sun out, along with all the light too. Luckily, Alanna jumped in to answer.

"No Neal, for the three hundred and forty eighth time, we're not there just yet."

"You're been counting?"

"Only after the first hundred or so, yes."

"I didn't know you could count Alanna." Neal began to get on everyone's nerves, especially Alanna, who had already threatened to leave him here alone five times.

They rode in pairs, Alanna and George, Numair and Dom, and Neal trailing behind paired with Peachblossom. The king had insisted they brought along a horse for Kel, so she burdened no one's riding. Sadly every other horse in the stables had been injured in some sort of stable collapse. Neal was still oblivious to who caused it. Not surprisingly, Peachblossom wasn't much of a talker, but that was fine, Neal did all the talking instead.

"I think we're in the wrong place." Neal shouted all the way to Numair, who was leading at the front, but soon dropped back to ask why.

"Why is that?"

"Because I was under the impression that this was going to be a wood- you know, owls hooting, rabbits frolicking, and general tranquillity."

"Whoever told you that?"

"Well no-one as such, but when I imagine a wood-"

"This is a lot worse than you can imagine."

"Yes, I can see that now. What is this forest thing anyways?"

"I don't know." Interrupted Dom, "But it sure is damp and rainy."

"I believe it's called a Rainforest guys." Numair seemed to be the only one who was able to see sense in this place.

"Really? Well what an ingenious name. The person who came up with that must have some imagination. Though I suppose they should be dead proud, emphasis on the dead, it really captures the true essence of the place. Rainy; and a forest. How bloody brilliant for us." Neal rolled his eyes, just so they could see the actual meaning behind those words, as if his sarcastic tone wasn't enough.

"There's no need for that sort of talk boys." Alanna cut in, taking on the role of mother as she was the only woman in the group, it also made her feel sort of superior. She liked the feeling.

"What tone? Grumpy and miserable?"

"Yes, that's exactly my point- I mean, things could be worse.

A chorus of 'No!' and 'Please say I was hearing things.' Echoed around the group, much to Alanna confused dismay. "What did I say wrong?"

"Alanna, you never, ever say that."

"Say what George?"

"That things could get worse- o heck, now look what you made me say lass. When you say 'that phrase that I just said' bad things always happen…"

"Just don't say it again…" Numair looked worried, it had to be serious.

"Say 'that phrase I just said'?"

"No, that things could get worse."

"Neal!"

"Damn."

Out of nowhere, a monsoon appeared, and if getting them all drenched and making them continue with soggy clothes wasn't enough, the dirt had turned to a muddy soup, causing them to walk by the horses.

"Well, at least we got that over and done with…" George was always optimistic.

Numair, on the other hand took the more logical approach. "Doesn't that only count bad luck for two of the sayings? What about the third?"

"Third? But didn't we only say it twice?"

"No, Alanna said it, then George did, and finally Neal. That's three."

"Say what?"

"We're not going through this again Dom. They said _the_ phrase."

"Which phrase?"

"That things could get… the opposite of good. There, I avoided saying it."

"What's the opposite of good? Bad? Things could get bad- that doesn't sound right. What's another word for bad?"

Everyone tried not to answer, ignoring Dom altogether worked quite well, but Numair broke- he couldn't leave a question unanswered, it just wasn't right. "Worse. The word you're looking for is worse."

Everyone gasped and held their breath at the same time, hoping he wouldn't repeat the whole phrase and curse them for the fourth time in less than ten minutes.

"Why have you guys stopped breathing? Is the air poisonous? What good friends you are! The air is deadly and you don't even tell me to stop breathin-"

"No Dom, we were just waiting for you to say the phrase out loud."

"Why would I do that? I'm not stupid Alanna…" Everyone started to breathe again, but stopped abruptly. There was a series of howls and grunts coming from behind them.

"Uh-oh, I think we've found what that third curse has done. It doesn't sound pretty though."

"And the monsoon and mud was pretty?"

"Compared to what these sound like George, yes, I'd say they were pretty."

"Would you call me pretty George?"

"Yes of course I would Alanna, you're my wife."

"So you're saying if I wasn't your wife you wouldn't call me pretty?" George had really stepped in it this time.

"No, of course not, I think you're extremely pretty."

"Pretty as in mud and rain, or pretty as in how everyone else thinks pretty is?"

"Er, the second one."

"Good choice."

Grunt. Howl. Snarl. Growl.

Alanna suddenly realised where she was, "Ah, forgot about them for a minute there. Well why is everyone standing around? Get out your swords men!" They all looked down with raised eyebrows. "Not those! You guys are sick, you're metal swords- the one to slash and stab with, since I have a feeling we'll need them."


	21. Pouncing, claws and Bob the Bird

I'm glad everyone enjoyed the last chapter- the gravy seemed to be a big success. Well, here goes with the 20th chapter…Wow, 20 chapters already?

This one isn't as long as the other before it, but is still about 900 or so words. Enjoy! (I might edit the first few chapters so they're a bit longer, what do you think?)

Another thing, school is on Tuesday sigh so I won't have as much free time to update and all, forgive me?

**Disclaimer** is as always; if you don't know what it is, read the other chapters please…

**Chapter 21 :_ Pouncing, claws and Bob the Bird_**

_Recap_: _"…your metal swords- the one to slash and stab with, since I have a feeling we'll need them."_

The howls of hungry predators approached, they'd found their scent and we're coming in for the final blow.

"It sounds like there are lots of them…I don't think it's a good idea to stay Alanna, you know how rubbish I am with a sword…"

"Neal you're fine with a sword. But don't you see? There is no where for us _to_ go."

"What? Of course there is- there's plenty of hiding places in this forest, I'm sure there's a river somewhere that would make them lose our scent, or there's a couple of trees we could climb up, oh everywhere. I personally don't see a flaw with any of my plans…"

"Apart from the fact if we'd try to run they'd surely catch up within seconds, we have horses to look after and the problem of being knee high in mud, no neither do I. Our only option is to stay and stick it out."

"Fine- but if I get killed, you're getting haunted by me, that's for sure."

"You're not going to die Neal."

"How do you know Numair? You're all right saying that when you've got a black robe on your back- but me? Oh no, I had to get stuck with _healing_ powers, what good are they when I'm about to be eaten by some monsters? Not very, I'll tell you that."

"Neal, stop whining." Alanna was able to quickly silence Neal. It was either her words or the rustle of leaves that did it.

"What was that?" Dom asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

"I think it's that third curse…but why haven't they pounced already?" George's common accent was still strong, which made it hard for anyone to understand him- but they got the general idea, they were all thinking it.

"They've surrounded us. We're trapped, so why rush it? I mean we'll probably be tenderer if they scare us to death first…"

"What makes you think they pounce George?" Neal's voice was quivering, and he was now backed up against them all, forming a circle around the horses.

"What makes you think they won't?" George was curious even at the worst of times.

"Mainly the fact that it has claws, or maybe talons…" They all turned around slowly, after it dawned on them that for Neal to know this, he had to be facing one.

_(Back at the castle- Jonathan POV)_

"I should have gone with them Jonathan, you know I'm more use there then I am here…"

"But Daine, you're more use to the Kingdom if you're not dead."

"What are you saying?" He opened the door to his personal seating area, she stared in awe around the room, it was filled with magnificent oak tables and shelves, topped off with luscious red seating. He motioned for her to take a seat.

"Before Kai drank the poison, she told us a riddle to say the whereabouts of Kel, I'll tell you this first but then I need to contact Numair- _In the caves of the feared Immortals she dwells, Surrounded by endless forest and danger, whether she's alive or dead only time will tell.' _That was her riddle, and the answer is so obvious I'm surprised we didn't get it sooner. I didn't expect Neal to get it of course, but Numair? I thought he'd be a bit quicker…I suppose this Kel crisis has had its effect, what do you think Daine?"

"I think you should get to the point sir. I really don't see what insulting my betrothed and Nealan has to do with Kai's riddle, but that's just my personal opinion, I could be wrong your highness."

"Of course, how foolish of me, drifting away from the point like that." A cough from Daine made him realise he was doing exactly the same again. "Well, she's in a cave in the surrounded forest-"

"That bit even I understood."

"I would hope so; but let me finish. Kai told us that it's an _Immortals_ cave, right?"

"I don't know, I wasn't there."

"Well she did. And the only Immortals around here are Spidrens, and they don't live in caves, see?" He pointed to a five year olds sketch of a spider in a hole, stuck on a wooden board on the wall.

"Aw that's cute, did one of the nursery's children do that for you?" It wasn't bad for a youngling's drawing; apart from the fact the Spidren had six legs instead of eight.

Jonathan looked confused, "No, I did it. A child couldn't have drawn that well…"

Daine avoided the King's eyes, "O, that picture! Sorry, I was looking at er…"She scanned the room, looking for some other badly drawn piece of parchment, he eyes sopped to one that hung above the fireplace. "That one…silly me, yours is erm, very original."

"That's very kind of you Daine, everyone else just said it was a waste of good parchment. I'm glad you see otherwise." Daine smiled nervously, she still felt slightly intimidated by the room, the King, and well, this whole situation. "Now, back to the riddle Kai left us. This is a map of the surrounding woods, if you can call it a wood. The city is over this side, and everywhere else is mostly wild." He motioned towards a map suspended from the ceiling, covering an entire wall.

"I thought towards that side was Tyra and Galla?" **(A/N look at me looking things up on the map of Tortall! Apart from the fact I'm not sure where the palace is in the country…)**

"Right you are, but the woods around us aren't as deep as they might seem, in fact, you could get from one side to the other in less than a day- if you don't encounter anything on your way, of course. Unless you go around in circles, it does that to travellers- that's why we rarely get any attackers that come through there, they just get lost."

"So you're telling me your champion, George, Neal, Dom and the love of my life, are probably going to get lost and we'll never see them again?"

"It's possible, yes."

"Then why did you send them out there?"

"I have faith in them not getting lost."

"Faith won't protect you from me if they never come back."

"Let's hope they will then. Back to the riddle, so we now know that it's not a Spidren cave, so what is another immortal? Well the list is endless, but I have a hunch tht by immortal, she meant God, or Goddess."

"But who would want to hurt Kel? I don't think she's really met many to be honest, and even fewer that she's angered."

"I thought you might know, but what if she wasn't out to get Kel in particular? Just trying to hurt us all, to wound the city…"

"Or as a distraction? So there is some sort of Immortal in the caves, or a monster of some description, but Kai and a God and/or Goddess kidnapped Kel so we'd send all our best fighters, and Neal, to go and rescue her, leaving Tortall open to attack."

"And we walked right into it. Mithros be, we need to contact them all now and ge them back here at once."

"But what about Kel?"

"Dom, Neal and George can carry on the search, but we need Numair and Alanna back." Jonathan cleared his desk with one sweep, leaving only one scrap of paper; on which he wrote:

_To all,_

_This is bigger than we first thought, a God is behind it all, and Kel is only a distraction. We need Numair and Alanna back immediately, George, Dom and Neal are to stay and search for Keladry but return ASAP once she is found. Hurry back, a fight is dawning._

_J._

Daine brought a willing bird over to the desk, and tied the note to it's leg. She then released it from the window. "Fly strong Bob."

"I thought that moose was called Bob?"

"No, his name was Barry."

"Ah."

Just then the doors swung open, revealing a shadowed figure. "Miss me?"

"Well Alanna you've only been gone a couple of hours max…"

"Jonathan, I don't think that's Alanna…" Daine backed away, pushing Jonathan back with her. "You really need spectacles your highness…"


	22. Slapping, Spectacles and Sewing

School tomorrow…I'm looking forward to it actually. Probably won't get another update in for a couple of days, but I will write notes on them at school, and maybe even get a songfic or two up in the mean time…

The last chapter wasn't how I planned it, but the story is in fact going in a new direction, which is a lot better than the old one. This chapter is shorter than the more recent ones, but hey it's nine o'clock and I have school tomorrow- so you're lucky you're getting any chapters.

_Now, I don't usually look at the number of reviews, just the reviews themselves, but if I could get 150 by the next chapter, that'd make school worthwhile. (Nearly)_

**Disclaimer** is as always; if you don't know what it is, read the other chapters please…

**Chapter 22 :_ Slapping, Spectacles and Sewing_**

_Recap_: _"Jonathan, I don't think that's Alanna…" Daine backed away, pushing Jonathan back with her. "You really need spectacles your highness…"_

(In the Woods)

"Neal, please tell me you're making it up…" Dom's voice quivered with fear, he'd faced worse than this before and come through unharmed, but for some reason he felt it'd be different this time.

"I don't have a vivid enough imagination to be making _this _up." They all slowly turned around in canon, first Numair, than Alanna, followed by Dom and lastly George, who was the only one brave enough to say anything stupid. "That must have fallen out the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." Funnily enough, it wasn't what it wanted to hear and it lunged towards George.

The all drew out their swords and raced to help, George already slashing the creature. Dodging back from its claw, he saw an opening and took it. Striking with unreal precision, his blade punctured the animal's soft underbelly. It howled in agony and collapsed to the ground- but not before making one final attempt with it's curved nail, slicing George's chest diagonally, soaking his ripped shirt with blood.

"George, are you ok?" Alanna ran to his side, ripping off some of her own shirt to tie around the wound. "Thank Mithros you jumped away, any deeper and this would have been fatal." Alanna poured her purple magic through him, mending the gash temporarily. "Neal, don't just stand there- you're a healer- do something!"

"Don't worry lass, it's only a little scratch…" He moaned trying to get off his knees and standing, not wanting to worry anyone further. Neal grabbed his medical pouch off his horse, and brought out a needle. "What is that for lad? There's no home economics class here to use that in." He tried to chuckle.

"It's to use on you." Just like the creature did, Neal leaped on top of George, pinning him down, and then putting him asleep with his calming magic. George's body fell limp on the muddy ground. Alanna saw how uncomfortable it was and folded a blanket up and slipped it under his head.

"Form a circle around us; I don't want to be caught off guard if one of _those_ strikes again." He nodded towards the thing lying only five paces away. It resembled a big cat, only one that had been dipped in acid for a couple of days beforehand. The black eyes were lifeless and doll-like, and its claws smeared with George's blood. Thankfully it was dead, but they had no doubt that there was worse to come.

Creating a protective human barrier around the newly appointed surgeon and his victim- I mean patient- made them all tense up, their senses on overdrive. Any rustle, movement or breeze made them more alert. After several conversations including, "Could you hand me that scalpel?" "Get it yourself."- he was finally done.

"Finished, George is as good as new."

"But he's covered in stitches!" Alanna gaped at her husband, who stirred under Neal's magic hold.

"Ok then- he's better than new."

(The Seating Area- Jonathans POV)

"I don't need glasses, my eyesight is perfectly fine thank you very much."

"Yesterday you were petting a rock because you thought it was a dog!"

"Well it was quite furry- but that does not give you enough evidence to accuse me of needing them."

"Last week you tried to kiss Thayet but ended up kissing Neal!"

"He was quite a good kisser…but in my defence he was wearing purple- it _is_ quite a feminine colour."

"The morning before that you stepped on top of Numair while he was lying on the grass thinking he was a rug!"

"But why would there be a rug on the grass?"

"That's exactly my point! You need to get your eyes checked out by Duke Baird. I don't want you to walk into my room again thinking it was the bathroom- that got messy."

"I just get disorientated sometimes- it's not my fault entirely." Dane was about to reply but stopped when she heard coughing, and remembered the other person in the room.

"Hey, remember me? The evil bad guy out to wreck your lives and ruin Tortall?"

"No sorry I don't really…" Daine came so close to hitting the King then, but only just realised what she was about to do- so she slapped herself instead.

"It was a rhetorical question."

"Don't go all Numair on me now; using words that only scholars can understand isn't helping anyone."

"You must be either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid to answer back to me Jonathan."

"Aren't they the same thing though?"

"Well you've got guts I'll give you that."

"Give me what?"

Daine slapped her head repeatedly; this whole thing was going from bad to worse.

"How can anyone put up with your incessant idiocy? It's driving me crazy and I've only been talking to you for a couple of minutes!"

"It's a talent few master." After receiving a few curious glances from Jonathan, Daine realised she was talking to the supposedly dead Kai like a friend- well that had to stop. "Aren't you meant to be dead?"

"I struck a deal or two, but now I'm back and there's no stopping me."

"Who did you make a deal with?"

"Do you know what curiosity did to the cat Jonathan?"

"Yes I do Kai; it had a fatal incident with the end of Alanna's sword."

"Really? That's not the version I heard, but it'll do for now."

"Alanna isn't here though."

"Yes I know." It was Kai hitting herself now- if Jonathan kept up this annoying streak then they may not have to do anything, she'll already have killed herself. "But in my version, the curious cat has a choice- either hand over the crown to me, or it can watch its country fall. It's your choice now."

"Which did the cat choose?"

"That's for you to decide."

"Can't it take what's behind door number three?"

"What's that then?"

"The saucer of milk."

"No Jonathan, that's not an option." Daine started to bang her head against a nearby wall.


	23. Confessions, Frying pans and the Return

Thanks Cessy for correcting my first chapter, I didn't realise just how many mistakes were still in there- all changed now. It's not a response, just a thanks. There was reasoning ebuhind the summary, it just wouldn't fit.

School was good, Drama was excellent! The chapter may take a couple of days to write, but I'll try to get it up as soon as I can. Sorry if there are a few mistakes- I don't really have loads of time to re check completely.

I've decided to do two recaps (Short ones) for those of you who have a memory like mine, it'll refresh what happened at both scenes.

**Disclaimer** is as always; if you don't know what it is, read the other chapters please…

**Chapter 23 :_ Confessions, Frying pans and the Return of Bob_**

_Recap In the castle: "No Jonathan, that's not an option." Daine started to bang her head against a nearby wall._

_Recap in the woods: "But he's covered in stitches!" Alanna gaped at her husband, who stirred under Neal's magic hold._

---------------------------------

"Daine, what are you doing?"

"Trying to make you disappear, but it doesn't seem to be working too well." She stated as if it were obvious.

"O, carry on as you were then."

"Have you decided yet?" Interrupted Kai, she was tapping her foot impatiently and pretending she had better things to do involving her nails.

"Decided what?"

"I'm not going through all this again with you." Jonathan stared blankly back at her. "Fine, a quick summary of the past events; I posed as Kel and killed Raoul and Buri, kidnapped the real Kel and hid her away in the forest. Following me so far?" Jonathan nodded.

"You then, as I knew you would, sent your best fighters, and Neal, to bring her back- leaving Tortall pretty much defenceless. Even if they were to come back now, it would still be too late. I then offered you a deal in a witty way involving a curious cat- to hand over the crown to me, or face the consequences. You still haven't made up your mind yet, but I'm asking for your answer now."

"Didn't you leave out the bit where I outsmarted you?"

"You can't outsmart me Jonathan; you have the intellect of a pig- wait- even less than that."

"In my defence that pig only beat me because luck was on it's side, not mine… Don't you remember when I killed you with the poison though?"

"That never happened."

"Yes it did. It was in the study, about an hour or so ago. I outwitted you and you are just too ashamed to admit it."

"Let's move on shall we? Back to that deal I struck you moments ago-"

"-Don't go changing the subject now, own up to the fact that I beat you and I won't say anything until you do."

"Finally- it will give my ears some rest."

Jonathan made a zip-like action across his mouth, folded his arms then turned his back on Kai. He made his point clear, that he was seriously going to keep quiet until she admitted defeat. Kai was determined to make him break, or at least get him to confirm his end of the deal without words- whichever came quicker.

"I guess we'll have to finish the deal without words then. Nod once for handing over the crown, and sit on the floor with your legs crossed if you want a war on your hands…" She watched Jonathan carefully, she could see the cogs working in his mind- they were small and rusty, but still there. After waiting long enough, she stepped closer to him and knocked on his skull.

"Hello; Anyone in there?" Jonathan shook his head. "I'll go over it once more- nod for making me Queen, or sit down on the floor with your legs crossed for making me annoyed and killing thousands of your people. Now, over to you Jonathan."

The seconds that slipped by each seemed like an eternity, and still he hadn't made a choice. Then, after Daine had stopped banging her head against a wall and actually realised that the fate of Tortall was resting on _Jonathan's _shoulders. It didn't look good for anyone from where she was standing, she thought as she tended to her bruised head.

Kai decided to take action, Jonathan needed a push in the right direction and all would be hers, the Kingdom, the crown and the army…and she had a killer plan to give him that push. She dived for the Daine, who seemed to be in a state of wonderment for some odd reason.

"Get off me!" She screamed, trying to grab Kai's hair. "Or I'll…I'll-"

"You'll what? Cook me, or wait- sew me up? That's all you're good at Wildmage- ladies like you can' stick up for themselves, why do you think it's always you that gets protected? It's because you're so vulnerable.

Daine kicked furiously, but who was she kidding? She wasn't a knight like Kel or Alanna, it was hopeless- everyone was going to die and it would be because of her. Kai was right, she was a useless, good for nothing lady; all she could do was cook, sew, change into animals, talk to animals and ask for their help in dire situations- but none of those would help her now. There was something Kai didn't know about her, not even Numair knew, that could help her…

"Look over there fatty!" She shouted, pointing in whichever direction her finger happened to end up.

"I'm still carrying a little holiday weight, so if you wouldn't refer to me as fat just yet…" Kai confessed.

Daine squirmed and broke free from Kai's grasp. She stumbled to a table and grabbed the only thing here was. She then swung it round by the handle with surprising strength, where it hit Kai's face with a loud 'clang'.

"My nose- you broke my nose! It was the best feature of my face and you ruined it!"

"How's that for a lady who can't do anything, huh? Just don't mess with Daine and her trusty –frying pan? - Again. Humph."

_(The Forest)_

George was helped up to his feet, even though he insisted that he was more than capable. They hadn't heard anything from the acid-dipped cats, which made them feel safer- for the moment at least.

"Everyone, listen. The mud has dried, so mount up- we're moving out."

Packing up her bags, Alanna heard a twittering above her. She followed the noise up until she saw a branch with a bird perched on it. It swooped down and landed on her leather saddle, tweeting further. She then noticed something peculiar about the bird- not the fact that there was a name tag attached to its feathers reading, 'Hi there, My name is Bob.' The odd part was the note attached to the bird's leg. Carefully untying it she checked who it was addressed to.

_To all,_

_This is bigger than we first thought, a God is behind it all, and Kel is only a distraction. We need Numair and Alanna back immediately, George, Dom and Neal are to stay and search for Keladry but return ASAP once she is found. Hurry back, a fight is dawning._

_J._

She finished reading, and saw the bird still sat there. "Go on, go back." It didn't even flinch. "Fine, do you want another message to send back?" She opened her saddlebag and ripped a piece of parchment off a spare page. On it she wrote-

_Dear J,_

_I don't think that splitting up is the best thing to do at the moment as there are creatures out here that just aren't meant to be alive. I'll talk to the others and see what they have to say, but we will double our pace. On second thoughts, Numair and I will guide the others in the right direction, but return promptly after. This wood isn't natural. Hope to see you soon, if I don't make it tell Lord Wyldon I never liked him._

_A._

Reattaching the scroll, she shooed the bird off her saddle. "Off you go then. Move. Skedaddle. Fly away. Fly home. Get lost. What are you waiting for?"

"Tweet. Tweet. Tweeeeet."

"You're not being serious."

"Tweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet."

"Ok, fine. You drive one hard bargain for a bird named Bob." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a pouch filled with berries. "What colour, blue or red?"

"Tweet."

"What? Your name should be greedy, not Bob…" She let him eat the berries off her open palm, then watched him fly off with the note attached.

"What was that all about Alanna?" She turned around and realised she was being watched curiously by everyone. "There's a slight problem back at the Palace…"


	24. Directions, Emotions and Bad Days

**A/N-** Randomness…it that good? I've started to change some of the earlier chapters so it makes more sense with the later chapters- Kel is to be found soon enough, and romance? Well you'll just have to wait and see… I'm really ecstatic that you all find it funny, as some of you may noticed the properties has changed from Tragedy/Action/Adventure to /Action/Adventure/Humour- because well, I'm better at humour.

In this chapter you'll get to see the intelligent side of Jonathan, the one that no one else seems to see, bless him, I hope you all feel bad after reading this for calling him stupid. He was just misunderstood… (I took ages writing his little emotions speech, so if you could comment on it, that'd be great.)

I'm thinking about giving a name to our Jolly band of fighters, how about the Fellowship of the Neal? Any suggestions would be appreciated, and one will be used in the chapter just before they set off, with a mention at the A/N for you.

**Disclaimer-** is as always; if you don't know what it is, read the other chapters please…Song words are the lyrics from 'Bad Day' by Daniel Powter.

**Chapter 24 :_ Directions, Emotions and Bad Days_**

_Recap In the castle: "How's that for a lady who can't do anything, huh? Just don't mess with Daine and her trusty –frying pan? - Again. Humph."_

_Recap in the woods: She turned around and realised she was being watched curiously by everyone. "There's a slight problem back at the Palace…"_

---------------------------------

"I can't believe you just did that- it was uncalled for, unprovoked, malicious and just plain nasty. You know what this means, don't you?"

"What?" Daine asked; the smug look from breaking Kai's nose still on her face.

"War." With that she turned around and stormed out the door, tripping over her own feet out in the bustling corridor and bringing three new pages down with her. She'd tried to make a grand exit, one to strike fear into the hearts of those around her, one that would suddenly start a storm on a sunny day, or make a rustle of whispers turn deadly quiet; but instead she ended up looking like a clown with big feet, a broken nose, and a black-and-blue bruise forming on her forehead. 'At least it was an improvement from last time,' she thought, grimacing to herself.

Daine faced Jonathan, who was now swaying on the spot to non existent music. He then stared to sing out of tune-

"_You had a bad day _

_You're taking one down _

_You sing a sad song just to turn it around _

_You say you don't know _

_You tell me don't lie _

_You work at a smile and you go for a ride _

_You had a bad day"_

"Are you kidding me?" Daine had to admit, though he was annoying, irritating, and brainless, he was quite a good singer.

"Excuse me? I don't quite comprehend…"

"You had a bad day!"

"Well it's not been great, I have to admit."

"_Bad_ day? Think about it Jonathan- you've made an enemy for life, you've been tricked into sending your best fighters out of your sight, and you've waged war on someone who has a God on their side! Mithros be; it's the Immortals wars all over again. Wait- this is worse than that, we had fighters then."

"What am I then?"

"Just don't tempt me to start on that list Jonathan."

"I can fight! I've been to known to kill men just with my-"

"-stupidity, maybe? Yes, I've heard that rumour as well."

Jonathan's eyes welled up with tears, "So you don't think I can fight?"

Daine started to feel guilty now, she'd made him cry. "No no, it's not that, it's just, well you're not the smartest-"

"Is that what you think of me Daine? That I'm stupid, moronic and that I can't even defend my country? You don't understand what I have to go through every single day as King! It's harder than it looks, and it takes a man or woman of a certain standard to be a good ruler, so don't even think about calling me that again- and that goes to you as well!" he shouted towards the door, where a crowd of knights, pages, squires and noblemen had formed. "I'm not an idiot like everyone thinks! I have feelings, if you prick me I'll bleed, I'm the same as everyone else here- emotions and all. If you all can't see that, then I guess I have to prove to you that I can. I'm disappointed in you all, how can you say things like that behind my back and think I won't hear about them? I'm not oblivious to these things, I choose to ignore them. If you had a problem with the way I act, you should have said it to me, not gossiped while I wasn't looking. Now get out of my sight, all of you, I have nothing more to say." Jonathan had thought they were his friends, while in fact; the whole castle had seemed to talk about his idiocy while his back was turned. He had a country of traitors, of people that had let him down, and he in turn had let them down. He'd prove to them that he could be a good King, even if it was the last thing he ever did, he'd die showing the Kingdom that he was more than just a waste of space…

(In the woods)

Alanna had recapped the letter to the group, along with her reply. She'd left out the bit about the greedy bird called Bob though; otherwise it would ruin the urgency of the atmosphere.

"What do you all think? Did I do the right thing?"

Numair was the only one to speak up, the rest were still in shock. "Yes, you made the right choice. Although I think we should just pick up the pace and stay with them a while longer, just in case the forest throws something dangerous at us again. At the moment I believe we shouldn't stand here for much longer, it's been half a day and we still haven't found the cave. If we don't soon, we'll have to stay the night here- and personally, I would prefer not to be killed in my sleep if it's avoidable."

"Ok," Alanna had decided to take charge, "George, can you get the map out for us? We need to check if we're still going in the right direction."

"I don't have the map lass; I gave it to Dom to look after."

Everyone turned to look at Dom. "I haven't got it! I passed it to Numair while I tied up the horses."

Numair was now under inspection. "Don't look at me that way, I let Neal hold it while I sorted out the bags."

The dawning realisation that _Neal _had the only map washed over the group, "Neal," Alanna asked gently, "Do you have the map Numair gave you?"

"Not on me." Gasps emerged from the rest of rescue team but Alanna was quick to recover. "So it's in your pack?"

"I doubt it."

"Neal, where is it?" Alanna's temper was surfacing; it wouldn't be long before she wouldn't be able to hold it any longer.

"I had it last when those acid cats attacked, but I remember dropping it and erm…fighting."

"You mean hiding?"

"You could put it that way, yes."

"So you've lost our map."

"No! It'll just be a bit torn and mud soaked is all." Neal ran to a nearby pile of mud, went down on all fours, and dug out a sheet of parchment. "Here! I told you I hadn't lost it."

"The ink's all run, the scroll is stained, the mud is dry and well it's unreadable- but well done, you proved that we can't let you look after anything from now on."

"Fair play, I suppose. I do have a picture memory though, if you want to know which way to go."

"Now is not the time for jokes Neal." Dom stated, leaning up against a tree and rubbing his temples with his fingers.

"No, seriously; I remember last time we checked, just before the things struck, we were five miles north of the castle, there is a three hundred paces stream to the right of us, and we're only a mile or so away from the cave- which is in…"He spun around. "That direction- which I believe is North West. So let's get moving."

"We're meant to trust you?"

"Life is all about taking risks Dom."


	25. Dwarves, Soup and Signs

**A/N-** Well the start of my school term hasn't been great, but ah well, things could have been worse. (Let's hope an acid-dipped cat doesn't come and attack me now…)

I'm _still _thinking about giving a name to our Jolly band of fighters, but I have a few (Ok, one) idea for it. Any suggestions would be appreciated, and one will be used in the chapter just before they set off, and probably in some future chapters, with a mention at the A/N for you.

If you happen to have any preferences or ideas for where you personally want this story to go, don't forget to voice them in a review- I'll read them all. Even if they involve a pink elephant- I truly will.

**Disclaimer-** is as always; if you don't know what it is, read the other chapters because I'm don't get paid by the word so until I do…

**Chapter 25 :_ Dwarves, Soup and Signs_**

_Recap in the castle: He'd prove to them that he could be a good King, even if it was the last thing he ever did, he'd die showing the Kingdom that he was more than just a waste of space…_

_Recap in the woods: "Life is all about taking risks Dom."_

The chilling breeze of the forest sent shivers down the fellowships' spines, the winds were unnatural. They were surrounded with trees, and there was hardly enough room for their horses to move in between the low branches, yet there were still gusts of wind coming from somewhere. Although unknowing at the time, at some point or another they had all questioned Neal's 'Picture Memory'. For Dom, it was when he'd hit his head on the branches for the sixth time, for George it was stepping in yet _another_ hole even though he swore (Literally) that there wasn't one there before. Numair had also queried Neal's sanity after tripping over countless rocks that seemed to move in front of him when he wasn't looking, which caused him to keep his eyes sternly on the ground from then onwards. Alanna lost her temper once or twice at things only she could see- the others didn't ask her about it, she would have bitten their heads off; if the forest didn't do it first of course. Then, out of the blue, a constant humming broke into song,

"Heigh ho, heigh ho, to make your troubles go, just keep on singing all day long, heigh ho…" Neal chorused, over and over again. It started to seem like he was on a repetative loop, just to annoy them all.

"Neal, if you wouldn't mind…" Numair tried to put it the phrase, 'Stop that incessent noise now before I do something I might regret' into polite terms.

"How rude of me, of course you can take the next verse Numair. I don't want to be hogging all the fun…"

"That's not really what I meant…"

"It's ok- don't be shy! I'll sing along with you, here- repeat after me;

Heigh ho, heigh ho, heigh ho  
For if you're feeling low  
You positively can't go wrong  
With a heigh, heigh ho"

Neal took a long-winded breath. "Now your turn!"

Numair's cheeked burned with embarssment, he wasn't the singing out loud sort of type. He decided to try and change the subject instead.

"Why are you singing?"

"Well, lot's of reasons- so I'll start at the beginning."

"That is the usual place to start Neal." Interupted Alanna, still frustrated about things only she could see. Everyone else thought they heard her grumbling things about a 'vain pink elephant' once or twice, but couldn't be sure.

"To keep my troubles at bay, and the animals too of course."

"Wouldn't some sort of war cry be more suitable?" Numair asked, genuinely interested in what Neal had to say.

"Probably; but how many war cry songs do you know?"

"There's the one the North-western tribe used, and still do, then there is the one that Tortallian warriors used to scream every time they ran into war, oh, Tyra has quite a ferocious one- or used to anyway, and the Scanran battle cry of course- that's one I've heard far too frequently."

"I'm sorry I asked…but there was in fact a deeper reason behind my choice of song."

"Which was?"

"We're just like the dwarves in it."

"Apart from the fact we're not going home from work, we're not midgets- excluding Alanna, and there is only five of us."

"Seven if you count Kel and the big cat thing."

"They shoudn't be included- which dwarf am I then?" Dom queried, hoping for the best.

"Ok, some of you have two dwarf names assigned, but that's only because there isn't enough people- and well you suit both of them. George, you're up first." Everyone had stopped, and gathered around Neal to hear what he had to say. "You're Happy and Sneezy."

"Why sneezy?" The rogue asked. To answer, Neal took a lone feather off a nearby branch, and tickled under George's nose. Not surprisingly, he sneezed rather loudly.

"That's why." Neal cleared his throat, looked around for lurking predators, then continued. "Numair, you're obviously Doc- theres no arguments there. Alanna, don't hit me, but you'd be Grumpy."

"Need I ask why?"

"Please don't- it would only end up with me getting hurt. Now, I of course, would be the cute and lovable Dopey, always getting into mischeif."

"You do know what 'Dopey' means, don't you Neal?"

"Yes I do, but just to make sure _you_ know- you have to say first."

"Nevermind." Alanna sighed, grabbed the reins, and started to walk beside her horse.

"Who am I then?" Dom was the only one left around Neal, the others had already begun to travel ahead.

"Ah Dom, you my darling cousin, would be Sleepy, _and _Bashful."

"I can understand Sleepy." He yawned. "But why bashful?"

"Kel." Neal only had to say the one word and before you knew it, Dom's cheeks were as red as tomatoes, he was stuttering and staring down at his feet. "That's why."

"Over here!" Dom was spared further embarrasment due to Alanna's urgent calls. They ran, dragging their horses behind them, towards the sound of her shout.

"What's wrong?" Numair asked, staring at Alanna wonderingly.

"I think I've found the cave…" Everyone followed the line of her arm, and her pointing finger. The saw what she was pointing at, a dark and gloomy cave, the entrance only visible through cracks in the boulder covering it. Moss claimed the majority of the surrounding rock, turning it into a mass of green, making it blend in with the scenary of the forest.

"What makes you think that it's _the _cave?" Neal had already forgotten that this was in the exact location his picture memory had told them only moments before.

"O, the flashing neon sign stating 'Kel's in here, stupid!' was kind of a givaway."

_(At the castle…)_

Daine watched as Kai stumbled away, tripping over what seemed to be thin air . How curious. If Numair was here he'd probably ask her how she managed to fall over, well, nothing.

"O, that's got to hurt." She began to shut the door after watching Kai bring down yet _another _unfortunate page, who happened to be carrying a bowl of particularly hot soup, but decided to keep it ajar. Ah, soup day, it was what Daine looked forward to every fortnight. Leek, potato, tomato, they were all her favourite flavours.

"Daine, have you been listening to me?"

"Yes sir."

"Good- so you understand what Ive been talking about then?"

"Of course you don't look fat in that robe sir." She realised that probably wasn't what he wanted to hear, but she was too distracted watching Kai get trampled by a herd of squires. Herd asn't really the right word to use though, in these circumstances _stampede_ would be a better fit.


	26. Fryday, Light bulbs and Shoelaces

**A/N- Sorry about the really long wait for this chapter, **I'll try and have it up by Monday. School's been hectic, but I don't want to post really short chapters because of it, so I need to wait until I find time. Sorry about the lack of Raoul- I wish I hadn't killed him off so early in the story, he's great fun to write about. Maybe he'll make an appearance later on, I haven't completely decided yet.

If you happen to have any preferences or ideas for where you personally want this story to go, don't forget to voice them in a review- I'll read them all. Even if they involve a pink elephant- I truly will.

Sorry for any spelling of grammar mistakes- I'm writing as quick (But as good) as I can to try and get this up by the end of the week. A quick Hi to Freya, who I just found out likes Fan Fiction as much as I do!...

**Disclaimer-** is as always; if you don't know what it is, read the other chapters because I'm don't get paid by the word so until I do…

**Chapter 26:_ Fryday, light bulbs and shoelaces _**

_Recap in the castle: "Of course you don't look fat in that robe sir." She realised that probably wasn't what he wanted to hear, but she was too distracted watching Kai get trampled by a herd of squires. Herd wasn't really the right word to use though, in these circumstances stampede would be a better fit._

_Recap in the woods: "O, the flashing neon sign stating 'Kel's in here, stupid!' was kind of a givaway."_

"Veradaine Sarrasi you have no idea what I'm talking about do you?"

Daine realised he was right, she didn't have the faintest idea to what he was going on about- but she wouldn't let him know. "Nes I do."

"Did you just say yes or no?"

"Yo…"

"Are you merging yes and no together so you avoid giving a direct answer?"

"Naybe…" She slowly edged towards the slightly open door, hoping to make a dash for it while his back was turned…

"I hope you're not trying to edge out of that door Daine, I thought higher of you. Close." He commanded the door, and with a stream of magic, it unexpectingly closed.

"He…he…" Daine let out a gasp of what only could be described as a nervous laughter, wishing that she'd run when she had the chance.

"Take a seat Daine, we need to discuss what just happened here, and how to break it to the citizens of Tortall."

"I belived you just waged war without consulting anyone."

"Ah, so I did say that bit out loud then…" Jonathan said, stroking thin air musingly, where a beard should have been.

"You did, your…highness. You could just come straight out with it sir. Tell them like it is, or you could sugar coat it…"

"I've just had a brilliant idea Daine!" If light bulbs had been invented, and if they could float, one would be switched on above his head right now. "I'll sugar coat it!"

"That's what I just-"

"- and then I'll tell them that there will be a big festival in honour of…of.." Jonathan scanned the room,looking for inspiration- he found it laying on the table. "Of the faithful frying pan! I mean I did save your life with it just then, while you were cowering in the corner…Daine don't interupt! Of course _I _saved _you_, why would it be the other way around?... and it'll be called…Fryday! Haha!"

"What a great pun sir." Daine replied, with minimal enthusiasm.

"They'll be so worked up about celebrating that they'll forget to listen to my next sentence about the fact that there may be a bit of turbulance and/or bloodshed coming up in the next week/day/hour depneding on when I scheduale this... how great is my idea?"

"It's off the scales, sir."

(In the woods- the quest for kel continues…) **Kids don't try these ideas/games involving our characters and a boulder at home- you could break a nail (or break your George/Neal)…**

"So, any more bright ideas Alanna?" Dom asked.

"That last one would have worked if Neal hadn't gotten in the way…"

"There must be an easier way to move that boulder, there are three men here and one lady knight, we have to be able to do something…" Numair stated, rubbing his brow hoping to come up with better ideas than the past 'Let's blow it up!' That had failed, and so had the 'I bet it's not really there and that we can all just walk straight through it…' He didn't even want to remember the time they'd tried to ram it down with a makeshift battering ram- in otherwords a very reluctant Neal. He needed to think fo something fast, his intelligent reputation was at stake here. Neal still hadn't twigged about the three men and one lady knight joke… but after a couple of minutes of stifling giggles and couting on fingers (and toes) he'd realised that George, Numair, Dom and himself had infact made four men.He wasn't a happy bunny.

After a five minute time out that Dom had suggested, he was back and suggesting some ridiculous ideas for the taking."We could try walking through it again…"

"If it didn't work the first time, or the second for that matter, what makes you think it'll work this time?" Dom wondered what had made it different this time.

"It could- you never know until you try."

"Why don't you try it again Neal, and we'll sit here and save ourselves another headache. Feel free to try though anytime- or better yet, I'm willing to give you a little helping shove…or two…" Alanna had lost her temper after the 'let's try and squeeze through the gaps in the side' plan that George had suggested. They weren't all as limber as he was, and even he got stuck halfway- seeing two flailing limbs was only amusing for the first hour or so, after that it got a bit repetitive- and George had begun to run out of air. That's when the game of, 'Who could poke George hardest but get away quickest without getting hit with a flapping leg in the face' had begun to lose it's edge. It just wasn't as fun when he'd stopped kicking, and it wasn't a particularly good sign either.

"This is frustrating, we know she's in there, but we can't even move the dam boulder. She's probably fighting spidrens in there and we can't even shift a stupid overgrown rock…" George whined, kicking the boulder then limping away swearing.

"That's it!" Once again, the lightbulb _would _have appeared, if it existed, but this time, over Numair's head instead. He pointed towards the boulder.

"Well done Numair, you can spot the boulder. Now, I spy with my little eye something beginning with sit-down-and-think-of-a-clever-idea-before-we-all-go-insane-with-frustration." Alanna dropped subtle hints of her anger very now and then to boost the mood of the group.

"No Grumpy- I have an idea that has to work!" Nuamir exclaimed, standing up and striding over twards the entrance to the cave. "Why don't we just try and push it away? Theres a slight slope going downwards, so once it gets going it'll roll the rest of the way. I'm surprised we didn't try this first time around."

"That's your amazing idea?" Alanna asked, with one eyebrow raised in a doubtful look.

"Do you have a better one?"

"We could all go jump off a cliff. That'd be a good idea- or even better, we could push Neal off."

"An idea to get Kel out of the cave."

"Then no. Let's have a stab at yours then…"

Three hours had passed since Numair had had his amazing idea. They all gathered around the rock for the hundredth time that hour, and with careful deliberation, decided to go for it one last time.

"Neal, move right a bit- no not that much. There. Nuamir go left a stride- no the _other _left. Right, Alanna take three paces around that moss patch there, great.. and George move a bit closer will you? I won't bite…much." Dom had taken charge after the failed attempts of Numair, Alanna and most recently Neal. Mithros knows why they let him have a go at commanding- he first instruction was 'See the rock thing in front? Yeh, I didn't at first either…Move it out the way will you?' Dom began counting down from 5…

4…

3…

2…

One second…

They all heaved at once on the word One, so as Dom tied his shoelaces, the others struggled to get a good grip on the grazing boulder. After one or two rasping sounds, grunts and an odd faint, they finally budged it over. Just like Numair had predicted, it rolled down the hill like a sheep without legs. The cave loomed before them, dark and hiding secrets that were about to be discovered…


	27. The Wheel Of Misfortune

**A/N- Ok, well I have a couple of big pieces of Homework **to do over the weekend, so it might not be up as soon as I hoped. Thanks should to go to **x17SkmBdrchiczxx **who while I was reading her review, sparked off this idea. The below is not a reply to anyone in particular, just a general statement towards flamers cough…

The majority don't need to bother reading below, unless it tickles your fancy.

_And a note to any flamers, (not constructive criticism, I find that very useful) I value your opinion, but to be honest, I don't mind if you think they're 'retarded' or 'have issues', fine, we all have our different views, but there is a difference between** voicing them and downright rudeness.** It's my style of writing, and if you don't like it, don't read it. Oh, and there is such a thing as a comma. You may want to consider using it sometimes instead of 'and'. Just a bit of advice from a fellow writer to another._

**Disclaimer-** is as always; if you don't know what it is, read the other chapters because I'm don't get paid by the word so until I do…

**Chapter 27:_ The Wheel of Misfortune _**

_Recap in the castle: "It's off the scales, sir."_

_Recap in the woods: The cave loomed before them, dark and hiding secrets that were about to be discovered…_

Jonathan paced anxiously back and forth, that part of the old oak floor was now a good foot deeper than any other; he'd been pacing that hard he'd worn himself down into a pit.

Daine watched him go right, then left, then back again, then turn around and then carry on, her head felt dizzy just watching. "It's like watching a game of tennis."

"What's tennis?" Jonathan asked, but still didn't stop moving.

"I saw some youngings playing it outside the walls last week. It's like our jousting-only not."

"So they ride horses?"

"Not exactly."

"Use big lances?"

"Kind of…"

"Do they get hurt?"

"Sometimes…"

"Wear heavey armour?"

"Not that I know of…"

"Is there a tournament every year?"

"Only when the weathers good…"

"And how about the fact that they ram into each other with whats basically a wooden stake?"

"Not usually, although…"

"It's nothing like jousting, is it Daine?"

"No sir."

She decided to keep quiet after that.

(In the woods, the cave awaits)

The darkness submerged them as they travelled warily into the mouth of the cave. The little light the candles gave off were blown out almost instantly, and so Alanna and Numair had to tap into their gifts for light, used only as a last resort.

"We're lost, aren't we Numair?"

"No, we're in the cave in the woods, and we took three rights, a left and then another right, two more lefts, a right again, then one straight path to get here."

"So that would be a yes then." George generally liked to phrase things simply.

"Face it, we've been travelling for what seems like forever and a day, we have no clue where we're going, how we're going to get there, or what we're going to find- that's if we get there of course, which from where I'm standing, isn't looking too likely." Said Dom, fed up of walking, of the darkness, and hearing gurgling sounds that seemed to be getting closer.

"Wait."

"What is it now Alanna, hear another mouse?"

"No Dom, you're so quick to judge, can no one else hear that?" Alanna stopped dead in her tracks, causing a domino effect behind her- but luckily it was only Neal at the end. He was the unfortunate one to land right in Peachblossom's open bite…

"It sounds like…that place, with the things…and the stuff…"

"Don't be too descriptive Dom."

"Where have I heard it before?" Dom couldn't quite put his finger on it, until… "That's it! The Corus Casino!"

"You're got to be kidding, we're in the middle of a cave in nowhere, the forest is out to get us, and now Dom is hallucinating gambling. What a barral of laughs this trip is turning out to be."

"I know what you mean…it does kind of remind you of it, doesn't it?"

"O great, now George is going mad…"Numair was losing his cool at the whole situation, he really should have left when they'd received that note from Jonathan. Stupid. "Guys, I just remembered something…weren't there meant to be Spidren's guarding this cave?"

That put shivers down everyone's spines.

"I'm hoping Kai was wrong."

"Let's hurry up, we'll go towards the noises then, maybe I'll strike it lucky."

So, while Neal dislodged himself from Peachblossom's fierce bite, they decided things couldn't get any worse, so might as well carry on. That was until they rounded the corner and were blinded by flashing lights.

"I can't see anything!" Alanna shouted, trying to shield her eyes from the strong glare. She backed up into George, who feel on Dom, who collapsed on Numair, who stumbled into Neal, who tripped into Peachblossom's waiting mouth…

The lights slowly dimmed down to a bearable brightness, and they were confronted by some sort of…thing. It had a glowing gold aura, but it's immense awe was brought down a notch by it's bright red shoes and stripy silver tuxedo. Not to mention it's wooden cane.

"Hello! Welcome to The Spidrens Cave, the casino where you're a gauranteed a winner!" The thing stated boldly trying to cram as many words into one sentence, then whispered something about 'there being no actual gaurantee, although if you lose I do get to keep your soul…" Obviously not loud enough for them to hear though, of course.

"Someone pinch me. Ow! Not that hard Dom…whatever happened to cousinly love…"

"You've got to be joking."

"O, master Numair, I'm being _deadly _serious." It said, tapping it's cane on the floor twice.

"Why did you say deadly in italics?" Neal asked.

"I didn't…"

"Yes you did, you said _deadly _serious. Does that mean we could die?"

"Ah, I can see we've got a bright lad here…how about a game of blackjack?"

"But you still haven't answered my-"

"Poker? Cards not your game then, huh? Russain Roulette? Nah, I was never keen on that one myself…I know what a clever boy like you will love to play. The Wheel of Fortune."

"The Wheel of Fortune?" Alanna wondered.

"Did I say that? Oh, sorry lass, I meant the Wheel of _Mis_fortune. Always get those two mixed up."

"I'm not sure I like the sound of that…" Neal whsipered, backing away from the gloved grasp.

"I'm sure you'll love it, our top prize today is a once in a life time win."

"What is it?" Numair said, wary of the striped maniac.

"Look for yourselves…" They followed the point of his hand, and saw a giant coloured wheel, every colour must have been on there, some they'd never even seen before. They let out an awed gasp.

"Wow… What does it say on each of the segments though?...Does that one say Tar Couldren!"

"Don't be ridiculous Sergaent Dom, I think you need your eyes checked…Look in the centre."

"Kel?"

"That's right, our grand prize…All you need to do is land on the Gold segment there."

"But it's smaller than all the others, and there must be a one in a thousand chance of it landing on there!" Dom exclaimed, how was this wheel fair?

"Life is all about taking risks Dom, and gambling for life is one of them…"


	28. Hook, line and sinker

**A/N- Ok, well I have a couple of big pieces of Homework **to do over the weekend, so it might not be up as soon as I hoped. Thanks should to go to **x17SkmBdrchiczxx **who while I was reading her review, sparked off the Game idea.

Rightio then, I'm a bit tired so this may not be as funny/good as you expect, as I should really watch some game show re-runs on UKTV Gold, but ah well.

If you have any spare time, please take a glance at my other mick-taking story- The Nealan Show. Don't forget to review.

**Disclaimer-** is as always; if you don't know what it is, read the other chapters because I'm damn lazy.

**Chapter 28: _Hook, line and sinker_**

_Recap in the castle: She decided to keep quiet after that._

_Recap in the woods: "Life is all about taking risks Dom, and gambling for life is one of them…"_

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"Daine!" shouted Jonathan at the top of his lungs. When she didn't appear he decided to shout again. And again. And again. "Daaaaaaaaaaaaiinnnnnnnnneeeeee…"

"Yes Jonathan? No need to shout, I'm only a foot in front of you." She peered over the ditch Jonathan had made in the floor.

"I'm hungry. You couldn't throw down a snack or two could you? I'd owe you one." All Daine could see down in the darkness was a two pairs of eyes. Which was curious since only Jonathan was down there- and his eyes weren't red…

"You could just pace a bit more, the kitchen is right below- you could just fall straight through the ceiling…"

"Brilliant. I knew Onua had hired you for a reason."

"To help you get a snack?"

"Exactly."

"O, and Jonathan?"

"Yes Daine?"

"You might want to come back up, there seems to be something down there with you…"

Jonathan looked to his right, and would have screamed if his mouth wasn't filled with a cracker he had bizarrely found in his pocket for some apparent reason. He did _try_ and scream of course, but it just splattered bits of crumbs all over the extra set of eyes. And the body attached. Oddly enough, that seemed to make it angrier.

"Get me out Daine!" Jonathan screamed, swallowing the remnants of his cracker.

Daine scrambled about the room, struggling to find something of equal depth to the hole. "I can't find anything sir!" she shouted, trying to fit a broom handle to a chair leg. "Nothing is long enough!"

"Why didn't you tell me to stop pacing hours ago then?"

Daine rolled her eyes. "My mistake."

"I have an idea Daine; I read it once in a book somewhere."

"I didn't know you could read you highness."

"Someone read it to me. It was how this dashing Prince was able to climb up a wall or a building or a…"

"A tower?"

"That's the one! He was trying to kill… or kidnap…no it was to…"

"Rescue?"

"Right you are! An evil, queen wasn't it Daine?"

"Close enough sir; I think you're talking about Rapunzel."

"I'm sure it was called something else…"

"I'm pretty certain it was Rapunzel. My ma read it to me before…well…everything." Tears welled up in Daine's eyes.

"Are you crying?" asked Jonathan, dodging sharp teeth.

"No…I'm fine. Let's get you out of there." She wiped the stray tears away, and got to work plaiting her hair. "It's not long enough sir…"

"Can't you braid something else into it?"

"Like what?"

"The rope ladder I keep under the desk would be good."

(In the Game show)

"Roll up, roll up, think you've got what it takes to win our grand prize of the Lady Knight?"

The fellowship gathered in a circle, trying to decide who would play for Kel. No one volunteered themselves for the job.

"You should do it George, you're good at sleight of hand tricks…" whispered Alanna.

"Not with whole live people! Numair, can't you do some sort of spell potion charm thing that you mages do?"

"Unfortunately not, the game show simulation seems to have put a falter in my magic flow… Dom you're quite lucky aren't you?"

"_I'll do it." _

"Have you seen me lately? I nominate Alanna."

"_I said that I'll do it."_

"Me? Fat chance lad- I've got the worst luck…even with the Goddess…"

"_I am talking aren't I? Why is no one listening?"_

"Hm…well one of us has to do it," Numair said.

"**I'll do it!"**

"No need to shout Neal," said Dom, "We heard you the first time. I just don't think you're the right man for the job. It's nothing personal, so don't take it to heart."

"But…Kel…and…I need to do…something…"

"It's ok Neal," said Dom, "You've done enough to help find her. Just sit down; you've done your bit, you'll only slow us down."

_You've done your bit; you'll only slow us down. _The words echoed over and over in Neal's head. He'd only slow them down. It was true- so far he'd done nothing but whine, whinge and trip over things creating new swear words. It was all worthless. He had to show them he was worth brining along- he had to do something…but what?

Neal squeezed out of the circle of journeyers, and ran to the striped madman.

"I'll do it."

"Just sign on the dotted line…" A scroll appeared, three foot long by one foot wide; jam packed with words that only a scholar would faintly know of. He skimmed the paragraphs, one by one, but decided that there couldn't be a catch hidden within the complicated text, could there?

Dom squeezed his eyes shut, relaying the words. He slowly turned around, knowing full well that he was about to see his beloved yet unfortunately dim cousin sign his life away.

"Neal- No-o-o-o-o!" Dom surged forward, and ran, in slow motion of course, towards the deal maker. "Don't do-o-o it-t-t!"

But shock, horror, he couldn't make it quick enough. Neal signed the paper, hook, line and sinker, and before Dom could make a grab for it, it was snatched away into the demonic man's pocket.

"Ah, ah, ah," it said, waving it's accusing finger towards Dom, "Don't even think about it. Well now we've got our players, let's start the game…"

"Players? There's more than one allowed?"

"O George, you always were the quick one- but no lad, one player from each team allowed."

"That means that…"

"Yes Numair- correct, please give a warm welcome to our opposing team, also playing for our lovely grand prize- The Spidrens!"

They all simultaneously gulped in fear.


	29. News, Arrows and a Barrel of laughs

**A/N- I apologise profoundly for the lack of updating- I've had a busy half term, and the following weeks hereafter, and haven't gotten around to it yet. I expect I'll update _The Nealan Show _tomorrow. **

**Disclaimer-** is as always; I own the plot, the characters aren't mine (apart from Kai) and well bits and pieces may be taken off of movies, TV shows, or randomly made up by yours truly.

**Chapter 29: News, Arrows and a Barrel of laughs**

_Recap in the castle: "The rope ladder I keep under the desk would be good."_

_Recap in the woods, aka Game show: They all simultaneously gulped in fear._

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"Did you just say you had a rope ladder?" asked Daine.

"I have a rope ladder?"

"You just told me you had one under a desk!"

"A what now?"

"A rope ladder!" shouted Daine, as she began pulling out her beautiful brown locks.

"What a brilliant idea Daine! I have one just under that desk over there!"

_(5 minutes later, after repeating the whole scenario twice more)_

As Jonathan scrambled up the fraying rope ladder, he made a mental note to himself- don't pace anymore, or if unavoidable, at least get that hole filled up.

"Rightio my lady, I believe we have some business now to get down to. No more procrastinating- I know what you're like Daine."

She tended to ignore his insults towards her, when in fact they were better aimed at him. "I'll call the council together sir, and then you can tell them the happy news."

"I don't believe a war is very 'Happy' news, Daine. You should be more careful about what you say in future."

"I'll be sure to do that." Daine walked out the door, and down the corridor, making a list in her head about who needed to be informed. _Duke Baird should be, and Lord Wyldon of course. We'll need to tell the rescue party, that'd be George, Alanna, Numair, Dom and Neal covered. Hopefully that would be Kel as well. _

She rounded the corner, and strode into the mess hall. She expected to find Lord Wyldon here, bossing about some first years.

"Now when I say you need to work in the blacksmiths for two bells every Sunday, I expect you to be there on time!"

"but-" stuttered the poor boy, who resembled a deer in the headlights of an oncoming car.

"Its now 5 bells and you're still not there! This is just not acceptable for a first year; in fact, it's definitely not acceptable for any year!"

Daine hurriedly walked towards the flame-red Lord, who looked to be near bursting with fury.

"- and when I say to look at me when I'm talking, I want your full undivided attention! Have you got it?"

The unfortunate page nodded.

"Then be off with you!" The boy scrambled away, and learned never to cross Lord Wyldon.

"Daine, how may I be of service?"

He motioned for them both to take a seat, towards the front of the hall, where the professors and King usually sat.

"Well I'm slightly worried about Jonathan..." Daine took a long breathe, and decided to start from the beginning, relaying the events to Lord Wyldon.

"Ah."

"That's all you've got to say?"

"Well there's not much more to it…"

"You could say 'Ah, we're all going to die.' Or 'Ah, I'll take care of this' or even 'Ah, I don't worry, this is all a horrible dream and you'll wake up when I pinch you.'"

He pinched Daine. "Still awake?" he asked.

"Damn, let's get the council together then…"

(In the Game)

"O crap. This isn't looking good," said George, as it suddenly dawned on him that their chances of coming out of this alive were less than none.

The group turned to face the demon who apparently was having an obviously fake coughing fit, to try and get attention.

"Well," started the demon, after miraculously recovering from his fit, "I see no reason why we shouldn't start the show, both players are here and are ready to go. But first- the rules. Each player will spin the wheel, with my lovely assistant Kel, who is also tonight's prize, in the middle of it. It will land on a segment, and the player has to choose either themselves or some other team mate to attempt the task written on the segment. There will be five tasks in all, and the 5th will be extra special, where everyone is involved. There is a crystal at the end of each task, which needs to be collected. The more you collect, the higher your chances are of winning."

"One more thing before you we start, every task will be played by a member, or two depending, of both teams. That means you will be competing against each other- I want no cheating or foul play," the demon winked, "Ok, we'll toss a coin to see who spins the wheel first, call it while it's in the air. Let's get ready to play the wheel…of…misfortune!"

A sign hanging from the cave's ceiling lowered, and an applause sign lit up.

The coin flipped around and around in the air, while Neal shouted 'Tails!' at the top of his lungs. It landed on the floor, and everyone rushed to crowd around it. The crazed presenter picked it up, and called, "Heads! It's the Spidrens to go first!"

"So, first up, go and give the wheel a spin!" A spidren with a silver stripe of fur down its back, crawled to the front, and pushed down on the side of the wheel, with surprising force.

It slowly came to a halt, passing by the cauldron of tar, the maze of no return and finally landed on a red and white task, labelled _Bullseye._

"Oh no…"stated Numair, "If it's what I think it's going to be, this isn't going to be good."

"And now," interrupted the demon, "Since we have our player from the controversially named 'Evil' team, we'll need a person from the 'benign' side. Any volunteers or will I have to pick for you?"

"Just give us a sec, will you?" Neal ran back and joined in with the huddle. "Who wants to go up first?"

"I'll do it," said Dom, "I think it may have to do with shooting arrows, and I'm not bad with a bow. Although my gut feeling is this isn't going to be a barrel of laughs…"

"Really, it's taken you this long to realise that, has it?" asked Alanna, as she watched a barrel of flaming arrows and a wall size target appear from nowhere. "Well it's sure going to be a barrel of something…"


	30. No pressure

**A/N- Wow, like 7 reviews for my last chapter- I'm well chuffed :P I've had multiple essays and things due, and rehearsals for Christmas show etc, and Christmas shopping! Merry Christmas! Happy New Year, and also in my case- _Happy Birthday! Yay!_**

**Please forgive me for lack of updating, the chapters will be smaller but I'll try to update every week or two at most! I apologise profoundly for the lack…I Hope you are all still interested! I found this one particularly fun to write, lets hope its worth the wait, ay?**

**Yours truly,**

**Jasmineb**

**Disclaimer-** is as always; I own the plot, the characters aren't mine (apart from Kai) and well bits and pieces may be taken off of movies, TV shows, or randomly made up by yours truly.

**Chapter 30: No pressure…**

_Recap in the castle: "Damn, let's get the council together then…"_

_Recap in the woods, aka Game show:._ _"Well it's sure going to be a barrel of something…"_

"So," said Lord Wyldon, "you've waged war again?"

All seven members of the war council were squeezed around a table that was in fact built for five, as King Jonathan preferred being called 'The Knights of the Pentagon Table'. He didn't really have a good reason for this, only that it just flowed better than heptagon. Everyone was present, well, half of them were anyway, as not many members took these meetings seriously; the ones who turned up arrived late or arrived with their pyjamas on and their teddy bear in tow. Obviously nothing said, or seen for that matter, left the room.

"The first war wasn't my fault! The Scanrans took it upon themselves to start that one… and the Immortals war…well, you know for a fact I held out until last minute to wage war then. Changing the subject, Daine take the register please."

Daine cleared her throat, and looked through her folder until she found the list. Coughing to make sure she had the whole table's attention, she elbowed the man sitting next to her much to his annoyance, to make some room so she would be able to move her arm.

"Alanna? Well I doubt she's come back yet… Duke Baird?"

"I'm here," the duke yawned, "I just don't understand why you had to call this meeting in the middle of the night?"

"Well it wouldn't be a secret war council meeting if the maid kept interrupting us in the day now would it?"

"You do realise that you did invite the maid along anyway?" A shy brunette waved from the corner of the room, the other hand grasping a duster. She look particularly out of place surrounded by the best warriors and thinkers in the realm- even if they were in their pyjamas.

"Ah Arnette- sorry about that," Jonathan said, in a typical John Cleese sort of manner, "Glad to see you could make it. Now back to the war at hand here, as soon as morning dawns and the birds begin to tweet- I'll make a grand and spectacular speech, which states that we have waged war, but it will cover and avoid that point nicely."

"Is that even possible sir?" a clerk asked from an armchair which seemed to swallow him whole.

"Well I'll not be the one writing it- you will. Good luck ol' chap. You have until that sparrow;" he pointed out the window, towards a nearby willow, and on the utmost branch sat a small and peculiar sparrow. It began to twitter. "Not yet you silly bird! Never mind Lord Geraldus, it would have been a nice idea but its all ruined now…you have until five bells. I have placed my faith in you, so do not let me down or it will be your head. No pressure though. Now go!" The clerk, whose name was in fact Lord Gerald, scrambled out the room, dropping paper along the way and leaving a trail of ink drops.

"I suppose there's no just kiss and make up tactic that would avoid the whole battle situation, is there?"

"No Duke Baird, ready your infirmary, as I fear there will be a riot soon enough."

**(Gameshow!)**

"Now if both our contestants would please step away from the wheel, our game '_Bullseye_' is about to commence."

And as Dom hurriedly stepped back, the floor opened up, and up rose a whole new floor, containing…a target. Two sets of arrows and bows appeared in front of the players and Dom could finally see which one he was up against; and it wasn't pretty.

"Could our contestants pick up their bows, and come to the edge of the arena!" bellowed a loud speaker, which, curiously, Dom hadn't noticed earlier. He gulped.

"Now, let the games begi- wait, I almost forgot. Bring her out boys!" Two ugly looking trolls (and when I say ugly, I mean ugly) strode out through a side door, dragging an unconscious Kel with them.

"Kel!" shouted Dom, her head stirred, she was beginning to wake. In retrospect, in probably would have been better if she hadn't been conscious. They tied her arms and legs to a wooden pole just inside the arena, and left her hanging there.

"Now since the benign team lost the coin toss," they all glared at Neal, who inwardly cowered, "it's the Spidrens up first. The aim of this game, hardy ha! _Aim _of the game, get it? I crack myself up sometimes…okay, well the point is that every shot the Spidrens get on the bullseye, the lower our lovely Kel gets. If you hadn't already noticed, she's dangling over a put of…o, I don't know, I think as it's the first game of the series it should be a mixture of flesh eating rodents…and hm, I believe its always a ghoul or two down there- thrown in for good measure. Well you get the jist, and every bullseye Dom here gets, we'll move her up a foot or so. Aren't you all having a barrel of fun? Now on with the game!"

They all wonder to this day how a Spidren managed to shoot an arrow like that, it having mostly spiders legs and all. It was curious, but none of them seem to recall exactly how it was done. Why don't you just imagine a way, and stick with it? That'll do. However you think they did or didn't do it, a shot was fired towards the big white and red target. It was a dam good starting shot, one might say it was beginners luck, and it hit the middle dead on.

Kel moved one foot closer to her doom, and her fate rested on Dom. No pressure.


	31. A deals a deal

**A/N- Now 15- and I'm sure I'll have a black eye tomorrow from playing Quasar (laser shooting game) and getting knocked off my feet by my own team! How's that for team spirit/ no physical contact? O well- great night! I also took my AS Maths exam –in year 10, they sure do push you.**

**Thought I'd give you an extra instalment now if possible- I let/made/forced my friend at school to read this story, and she was laughing pretty hard… I was quite surprised actually! **

**Sorry for not updating, this chapter is a bit shorter than usual, but I couldn't prolong not posting it for any longer. Now, enough meaningless rambling, o one more thing- you may need to look back at earlier chapters (i.e 26) for the whole Jonathan speech orientated thing... now on with the show!**

**Yours truly,**

**Jasmineb**

**Disclaimer-** is as always; I own the plot, the characters aren't mine (apart from Kai) and well bits and pieces may be taken off of movies, TV shows, or randomly made up by yours truly. (Many witty one liners)

**Chapter 31: A deals a deal (dedicated to Jess)**

_Recap in the castle: ""No Duke Baird, ready your infirmary, as I fear there will be a riot soon enough."_

_Recap in the woods, aka Game show:._ "_Kel moved one foot closer to her doom and her fate rested on Dom. No pressure."_

"You ready for this sir?"

"Ready for what now- and why am I all dressed up like this?" Jonathan asked, peering down at his smart velvet clothes.

"Don't play dumb sir, you're still going to have to say the speech whether you like it or not."

"But I don't want tooo!" he whinged, throwing a tantrum similar to what a three year old would do when you took away his candy. Daine reached into her pocket, and pulled out a boiled sweet.

"If you're good, I'll let you have it."

"Three..." Jonathan merged the word with a cough.

"What? That's ridiculous, two sweets maximum," Daine bargained.

"Deal," Jonathan grabbed Daine's hand and quickly shook it, before she could realise how he had gotten the better deal. Or had he... a deals a deal, he couldn't go back on that now.

"Take a deep breathe sir, straighten your jacket… and do up your buttons _properly_ this time- no, that's the wrong hole, now that's better," Daine said, stepping back and looking Jonathan up and down, like an artist admiring his own work. "There, all set."

He turned; ready to take a step out into the sunlight, ready to make his war-breaking speech and stepped out onto the steps. "Good luck Jonathan," she whispered.

The clerk had given him his speech earlier, and Jonathan appeared impressed with his work.

"So you remembered to add the sugar coating bit?"

"Yes sir, first thing I did."

"With extra, yummy sugary coating, just enough to cover the cold hard fact that I've waged war on an unknown enemy?"

"As always your majesty, although the enemy isn't exactly unknown..."

"But it does sound so much more mysterious and more planned if the enemy has yet to fully reveal themselves. What do you think?"

"I think whatever you think, sir."

"Good answer there clerk lad, you'll go far with that butt-kissing attitude. I like that about you."

"Thanks… I think."

Jonathan then decided a little test was in order, just to double check he'd gotten the facts right. "A festival in honour of..." Jonathan tested.

"The faithful frying pan- and it shall be called Fryday," he stuttered, trying to remember his notes from the hour before, which was harder than he thought it would be. "I personally think that it is a brilliant idea my Lord, if you don't mind me saying so…"

"Not at all, flatter away to your hearts content." So the clerk did- it was a wonder Jonathan's head could still fit through the doorway it had inflated so much.

(Gameshow)

"Dom!" shouted Alanna, realising just how much danger Kel was actually in. "Concentrate- don't let your mind wander!"

"Keep your eye on the target!" yelled George, and soon after the other members were shouting their support and advice. Most of the tips were helpful, some on the other hand, were not.

"Be one with the target Dom! See yourself as it, visualise the arrow flying towards you… be circular and erm... striped! Think red and white thoughts Dom, or maybe pink and white, whichever matches better." It was surprising that Neal was the one who said this. Did I say _was_ surprising? I meant wasn't.

"Ignore whatever Neal says- he's colour blind anyways!" shouted Numair.

"That's the best advice I've been given all night. Neal- shut up." He breathed deeply, inhaling, and then exhaling slowly- he could do this, he told himself repeatedly, he wouldn't fail. Kel's life depended on this. He couldn't let it slip, not now, he wouldn't be able to live without her- he realised that now. The feelings that he had felt for her before were surfacing, he couldn't suppress them any longer- he loved her, he _loved _her. That was it, he couldn't deny it- and he didn't want to either- and they could be together. All he had to do was play his shots right. How hard would that be? It was harder than he expected, that's for sure.

He stepped up to the range, his ears muted from everything but the loud thump of his erratically beating heart. He looked around, it was all an eerie hush, to Dom, it had seemed that everything had quietened down for his turn.

"Ok, release your arrow when you're ready." The host's menacing voice broke through the silence.

"Be… target…pink...arrow…circle…" Neal's muffled voice cut through the silence, even though George had his hand grasped tightly across Neal's stubborn-bad-advice-giving-distraction of a mouth, he was only able to choke out a few more words before being subdued quickly and not so quietly. To Dom it sounded strangely like 'force...be…with…you' much to his confusion.

He pushed all puzzlement out of his mind, and drew back the arrow, and taking one last calming breath, let it fly towards the target…No pressure.


End file.
